Prison Gladiators

I know the idea of turning prisoners into gladiators is nothing new. I realize that it has been done in the past and that the practice has been brought up many different times in our modern civilization. This article is not just a whimsical story written with no intent for implementation in the real world. The suggestions I will make can be real and can make a real difference in solving many problems we have with our law enforcement and prison systems. You just need to keep an open mind.

First of all, the gladiators will be a completely voluntary group of prisoners. Nobody will be forced to fight against their will and prisoners on death row will not be eligible. Their sentences should be sped up however, and that can be written into the law that allows the gladiator program. Prisoners convicted of felonies and sentenced to more than five years would be eligible for the program. When the prisoners volunteer, they will sign waivers releasing any liability of the local, state, or federal governments. No lawsuits can be filed against anyone on behalf of the gladiators.

The actual fighting could be done in many different ways. There can be one-on-one, two-on-two, or groups against groups. The gladiators would fight each other empty-handed and bare-knuckled, much like the style of the Ultimate Fighting Championships (UFC). There would be no rules however, and fighting would not stop until one person was incapacitated. Death would be an acceptable result as defined in the release forms, so all fighters would know beforehand the severity of their situation. Since it would be a voluntary program, they would willingly accept that death is one of the consequences of being a gladiator.

Another method of battle would involve weapons. This would be a separate group of fighters that would be interested in a more thrilling style of combat. It would also be completely voluntary with release forms allowing the use of weapons. No projectiles would be used, only close-range weapons such as swords, axes, hammers, and pikes. These fights will almost certainly involve death, as you can imagine. Just like the previous fighting style, the match will not be stopped until one of the fighters is incapacitated or killed.

All gladiator matches would take place within the prison facilities. Small arenas would be constructed, but nothing too flashy. Something like Madison Square Garden wouldn’t be necessary. A simple, open-air arena that’s about as fancy as the average high school football stadium (only smaller) would be just fine. A decent size crowd would be able to purchase tickets and attend the matches and security would naturally be handled by the correctional facility in which the event takes place.

For the people interested in watching the matches but who unfortunately cannot attend, a pay-per-view style of broadcast will be available for purchase. However, the individual fighters would not be promoted. It shall be written into the law that no company would be allowed to market any of the gladiators. This is not an attempt to glorify convicted felons, so no gladiator will be marketed or receive any compensation from it. The broadcasting company televising the matches would be able to advertise for the event, not the people participating in it.

This program would be self-supporting, so there would be no need to create additional funds from the government provided by the taxpayers. The profits from these events would be split into a few different groups. First of all, the victims (or their families) of the fighters would receive a certain percentage. The correctional facilities that host these events would also be compensated for them, along with additional funding for all state-wide prison facilities in the state in which the event was held. The local and state law enforcement of the respective city and state in which the events take place will also receive a percentage of the profits. Any additional costs that may arise could be factored into the division of the profits acquired.

Now I know what some of you people are thinking. You think that this is inhumane or morally wrong, or that it is cruel and unusual punishment. You think that it may be a bit impractical to carry out. You may think that people will commit felonies in order to be eligible for the gladiator program. I understand the concerns and the arguments, so let me address a few of them now.

Let’s start with the moral issue. This is always going to be a subjective argument since morals are largely based on your inner convictions and conscience. Personally, I think it is immoral to allow a convicted murderer to serve a partial sentence and be released back into society because of “good behavior”. Nevertheless, this program would be completely voluntary, so anyone who participates is doing so willingly. Moreover, it would not be cruel and unusual punishment for the same reason. Anyone who is found to have committed a felony with the intention of being in the gladiator program will be ineligible, and may be sentenced to death row. This may sound a little extreme, but it would serve as a great deterrent.

As far as being impractical, I would agree in this sense: The American public is too intellectually bankrupt and it would be hard to find enough support for such a program. In all other aspects, it is very practical and can generate large revenues. There is a market for violence and for violent fighting. All we need to do is look at boxing, mixed martial arts competitions (K-1, Pride, UFC), and our nightly television shows and news to realize that. We are no more civilized today than the Romans were, we just have better technology. Now we can use that technology to reach a larger audience and society can benefit from it with the revenues created.

There are no losers in this process.

People who have nothing but a lifetime of convictions and prison sentences can find a way out with a little more dignity than rotting away in prison for the rest of their lives or committing suicide. (This could also help alleviate the overcrowding of our prisons.) Victims of these felons receive a little monetary compensation for their suffering which they wouldn’t otherwise get from a criminal conviction alone. Law enforcement would have a new source of revenue at the expense of the people committing violent crimes and disrupting society. This revenue may even be used to offset some state and local taxes.

Everybody wins.

I want to know how people feel about this, so please leave comments or your own suggestions on what you think may improve this concept.