Let's face it, high school was not the great experience for some of us. When people tell me they wished they could go back to high school, I figure their lives must be pretty dismal now if that was the highlight of their days. It's not that I was one of those picked on or a poor student. On the contrary, I was what I would consider your average person in the social scene and made good grades. I just couldn't wait to get out and not have to see most of these guys again.

But as often happens to most of us as we age, my memory grew weaker as I got older, and I mellowed somewhat, so when that cutesy, pink letter arrived in the mail telling me all about how Sandy or Tiffany just couldn't wait to see me again, not that they saw me the first time, I said what the heck. No matter how hard I tried to hide, somebody apparently gave me away. Wait until I find out who, but anyway, since they found me. The little letter assured me this reunion was going to be just “super“, and it wouldn't be the same without me. Of course, for this privilege there was a fee, somewhere around fifty bucks a person.

Between the hubby and me, I have now been to several class reunions, thus making me feel highly qualified to give advice on the topic. So get ready, here it comes based on my experience.

First, unless you were “Mr. or Miss It” in high school, when you receive the invitation, your first reaction is probably to find the nearest trash container, because it's too much trouble, and you're a little overweight, and who wants to listen to all those people bragging about their great jobs. And besides, there's money involved, so why bother. Here's a few things you might want to consider, and if you decide to go, some helpful tips.

First of all, skip the 10-year reunion completely. Everyone is at the peak of their game. Those that truly had potential have accomplished their goals, and the rest are going to make you think they have whether it’s true or not. Everybody is still in pretty good shape, and there will be a zillion screaming, spoiled children running around. Who needs all that aggravation since you're still trying to make your way in the world. There are always those snotty people in high school who thought they were special, and even after ten years, they still do. Better you should be absent and have everyone wonder about you.

The 20-year reunion is different. This is the first one to attend because by now men are starting to carry those extra 40 or so pounds, so even if you're a little overweight yourself, you'll just be one of the pack. Men also will be showing balding spots, if not completely bald, and if you've got a head full of hair, you'll suddenly be the envy of the place. Nearly everyone's children are fairly grown now so you don't have to have any get-togethers at swimming pools or ice cream socials. This means you can actually gather at someone's house and have a real drink while everyone lies about how great their life is now.

By the 30-year reunion, Tiffany and Sandy are sporting heavier makeup to hide the wrinkles and obviously coloring their gray hair. To avert attention, they‘re trying to look trendy with their youthful clothes, which look as out of place on them as a woman wearing a fir coat at an animal rights convention. Sure, they're still insufferable with their bouncy attitudes and squeaky voices, but when you watch them put away the booze to deaden the disappointment of their recently divorced husbands, I’m sorry to say you feel a little glee in spite of yourself.

By the 40-year reunion, people have pretty much given up smoking, drinking and partying, so now the conversation turns to grandchildren and retirement. If you're still in pretty good shape, you'll be the hit of the party because you haven't changed since high school. Now, conversations consist of latest surgeries, illnesses and complaints about doctors. There'll be competitions over who's come the closest to dying and constant bickering between spouses. And then, it'll be fun to see which old codger made enough money to be sporting a cute little blondie on his arm. That's always good for a laugh.

Actually, the 50-year reunion will definitely be the most fun. Everyone will be looking over their bifocals trying to read each other's name tag because they can't remember anyone, and it won't matter what you look like now because no one can remember what you looked like in high school anyway. The only activity will be eating, which will be a catered affair because everyone is on a no-salt, no-sugar, no-wheat, no-fat diet. Conversations will consist of who didn't come because they're dead, or at least they think they're dead. Maybe they're just living in Kansas. (Nothing personal, Kansas people.)

If you happen to have a 60-year reunion, the three of you will go to a restaurant and reminisce about how you outlived everybody else. You will probably be the three nerds that had better sense than to let the high school mentality of popularity destroy your life and didn't need the approval of the "in crowd" to rule your destiny. I say rock on, Baby.