Redeeming the Qualities of a Woman

Have you ever wondered why people do not understand some of your womanly qualities and so call you names like: Mysterious, Prude, Promiscuous, Angel, Demon from Hell, Jaguar, Praying Mantis, Seductress, and many other names that cannot be mentioned in public. Yet are any of these qualities bad in their right time? A prudish woman may be a woman who is after a certain man who she believes is her life mate, or she may be a woman scorned or abused so who can blame her. A promiscuous woman may be a woman who is establishing her freedom and personal power, even though she may not be sexually promiscuous at all, just personable. A woman who is called a demon from hell may have a righteous anger about something. She may be pursuing the justice of her cause with all her God given abilities. An angelic woman may be a woman who is very nurturing, but co-dependent. A woman may be called mysterious, because a man may not understand her, or she may be playing aloof to hide her true intentions. Like a man who puts on airs to keep others from bothering him unnecessarily, if he is engaged in some deep work he believes in, or to keep his work a secret. A woman may have many qualities that are not appreciated or understood by others and so she is called mysterious.

The mysterious qualities of a woman’s heart are like treasures hidden in plain view; like swords rusted in their scabbards, or living flowers sealed in a rusted tin. The swords can be a detriment to society if used wrong, but if used right may be a scalpel that heals many. The flowers can be a medicine to heal many, or a can to throw at the offending spouse. Society also tends to throw the baby out with the bathwater, especially if the baby is a girl. All her names are her gifts, and what makes the woman who she is. Like children who always express their independence, even though they may be hard to parent, if their gift is discovered and trained, those children may become great leaders. If the children’s gifts are removed from them, they may wander through life broken, not knowing or having been trained in their personal gifts or that they even had these great treasures, which were stolen from their hearts. It is the same with women, if their gifts are broken and torn from them, then all of society is weakened. Look at all the intellectual advancements that have come through women, since women where allowed to read and be schooled, since the fourteen hundreds. Women have many gifts and when culture allows their gifts to be trained and flourish, their gifts benefit all society.

There is a general saying in our society, "We fear what we don't understand." Each person tends not to know themselves, so how can they truly know another? When we do not understand others, we fear. Many men put down other men because they do not understand them. So, how much more, if a man puts down other men that he will naturally put down women who he understands far less. For, if a man doesn't understand himself or other men, he fears them, therefore men naturally put down women, as in this case, because he fears them.
In relationships between men and women, men have this intrinsic nature to fear, it comes from our basic primal need for self protection, for we are selfish creatures, that is what we think keeps us alive. If a baby doesn't cry, it thinks it will die. Why do you think they are so persistent in their crying? Men are trained to not express fear, but they are not trained to fear not. Men are trained to not express fear by others calling them names; sissy, cry baby, wimp. Men fear being called these names and it being true. So, when a man does fear, he calls his fear names, to try to scare his fear away. As an example, when a man is lined up on the battlefield of war; he shouts vulgarities, he struts like a Bani Rooster, and tries to intimidate the enemies that he fears. This battlefield is an example of the battle of the sexes. We are still fighting each other. We have such great gifts to give and receive from each other, yet we fear. We do not give our gifts, for we think our enemy will use them against us. We also do not receive our enemies gifts, least we think there are hidden strings attached, and forget being vulnerable!

Men are trained by their mothers, don't say anything, anywhere, anytime, anyhow to any woman, for they will remember it all your days, and use it to control you. For how do mothers control their strong young men? They can not do it with brute strength. So, through guilt and shame, mothers use their tongues to control their strong young males. In doing so, they train them to feel guilt and shame, and these are weaknesses to all peoples. When men do not feel powerful and in control, they fear. When they fear, they call their enemies names, which include women.
A wise woman knows her husband needs a safe haven of refuge at home. She does not use his confessions and fears against him. If she does, in his mind, she becomes like his mother and all other woman, and stops his intimate communication to his wife; when the communication between a husband and wife dies, so dies the marriage.
Where there is no communication, there is no relationship.
Where there is no relationship, there is no love.
Where there is no love, there is no marriage.
Where marriage ceases, there is brokenness.

And the cycle of fear and brokenness continues…

A wise man knows the women in his life have many treasures in their hearts. As he sees these treasures, he washes and cleans those treasures with his words of love and affirmation, and redeems the treasures of their hearts. He then strengthens those treasures with his encouragement, which strengthens the women in his life.
As the women in his life become stronger, the whole family is
strengthened.
As the family is strengthened, the community is strengthened.
As the community is strengthened, the nation is strengthened.
As the nation is strengthened, the women are strengthened.
As the women in his life are strengthened, so he is strengthened.

And the cycle of love, affirmation, encouragement, and strength continues…

Many women are also culprits to this dilemma of women's lack of power and equal status in society. A wife may call ‘the other woman’ names to try to define her negatively to the rest of society, because of the other woman's actions or the wife’s perceived fear. "She's a home wrecker, watch out all you women or she will try to steal your man too!" She undermines the other woman and instills fear to all around her. So, no one will befriend the other woman or do anything else to understand the other woman's giftings. Men use women’s name calling to understanding the nature of other women. These defining names instill subtle fears in men about women as a whole. Most men do not realize they fear women, and would probably never admit it if they did. As we all know, women do fear men, and usually have a justifiable right to fear them.

We try everything we can to gain power, because we are selfish and fearful creatures. We do not realize that by devaluing others, we do not make ourselves more powerful, but weaken those around us. The weaker those around us are, the weaker we become. The weaker we become, the more we fear. The more we fear, the more we protect ourselves. The more we protect ourselves, the more others can take advantage of us. The more they take advantage of us, the more we fear. The more we fear, the more we try to devalue others.
We are like one link in the chain of life, we devalue others to make ourselves the strongest link in the chain, and then we wonder when all the links around us are so easily broken and we are left all alone.

And the cycle of brokenness and fear goes on...

By James Wood

Copyright 2007 James Wood

For other writings by James Wood go to:

http://www.xomba.com/a_fictitious_conversation_between_jacque_cousteau_and_nemo

Or for poems by James Wood go to:

http://www.xomba.com/o_crystal_spring

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