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Romancing Your Way Into Having More Sex

posted June 13, 2008 - 8:40am
Romancing Your Way Into Having More Sex

There seems to be a fairly clear pattern within a married couple's sex life. While many people say it will never happen to them, this is usually during the honeymoon stage and then over time, life takes over. At some point with in the relationship a couple has less and less sex.

For the man this becomes a huge issue. They find that they are more desperate for sex. I once read that this is like baseball. The more times he strikes out the more balls he lobbies toward home plate with the hopes that one of them will get through. Whether or not that analogy makes complete sense or not, many guys are probably agreeing.

What happens? Many people don't understand why their sex life slows down. Often this happens as life takes over. Romance is no longer as important, instead there is the house hold chores, work, and even kids. If kids are involved this often becomes a huge issue. Life becomes stressful and overwhelming. With that in mind many guys approach sex (which is admittedly important to them) in the wrong way to make it easy for a woman. With everything going on in life, it often feels like sex is just one more chore in the long list of things to do.

So, how can a guy change his approach and his methods to get more sex? While sex is important to the guy, he should try and put it on the back burner. Sure he wants more. Sure every day would be better then once a week or once every other week. But if he focuses on it then it will be easier for her to focus on it. She won't be focusing on it in a positive way either!

Once you have put sex on the back burner, then you can work on making it easier for your wife to want sex. Sure, I can provide a lot of suggestions, but you will have to work with them to fit them in with your life and your wife. After all, no two women are the same.

1)Take time to communicate. Yep, I know that guys just aren't talkers. But women are. In fact, they feel a deepening sense of connection when they know what you are thinking and feeling. Don't panic, I know that you are thinking, "Oh no, she said put sex on the back burner!" So, you may be thinking about sex, but your should also talk to your wife. Tell her how you are feeling. Tell her what you want out of life, what you are hoping for the future, and how she makes you feel.

1.5)Take time to listen. Talking is only one half of communicating. You also need to listen to what she has to say. Show you are listening and that you care. You are working at building a deeper relationship with your wife, something you should work at every day.

2)Take time for a little romance. Romance is something most guys do before marriage, but quite shortly after. Once they have her hooked, why bother. Well, the answer often lies in how romance makes a woman feel. For some women it is small gifts, others just need a hug now and then, some love flowers (that would be me), and still others need you to do a few things for them to make them feel good.

3)Say, "I love you" in a hundred different ways. This can be complicated. However, you can say I love you (which is important for most women to hear even if you don't really like saying it), but you should also be working to show it. This can be in doing the dishes, helping with the kids, and offering a back rub.

4)Take time to date. Dating can help marriages a lot. With kids, jobs, and a whole host of things to do it can be hard, but it is well worth it. Take the time to date. If you have kids at home and can't get away then you should date at home. Find out more tips for that at How to Date Without a Sitter . Taking the time to date can be helpful in a lot of different ways...trust me.

5)Spend time working your wife over with love. At first she is probably going to think you are trying to get some. However, over time you will make her feel warm and fuzzy and on days she isn't tired she may very well initiate sex. This is the bonus for you. You can improve your relationship and get more of what you really want.

6) Be willing to talk about sex with your wife. Find out what she wants, what she likes, what she dislikes, and other information regarding sex. Share with her these things as well. If you open up this area of your life you may find that you have a lot more fun with your spouse and that you are pleasuring them more as well.

Getting sex doesn't have to be a game. But if you do play by her rules, then you will find the experience more pleasurable for both of you. Find out what makes her feel loved and makes her feel the most connected with you and you will "score" much more often!



Comments

You Think the Mind Exists before You Think It Does?

Go on then, crosseyed, With More Devotion to NOHTMLALLOWED-http://www.voyspace.com/view/5640 than Words Dare Express, NOHTMLALLOWED-http://www.xomba.com/referral/77778740 Uncle MythMan

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Men Are Naturally Conqueror-Minded, and Conquerors Want ...

... to plant their flag in as much conquered soil as possible. With the help of the wife's family, the husband's mind is cured of the conquest-desire and is able to focus on enriching the kingdom already conquered and receiving many more kingdoms' fealty instead of the few he could conquer alone. With More Devotion to than Words Dare Express, Uncle MythMan

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"Love," like "sex" or "God," Is a Word: Spiritual Biology

"We are not this crude matter. We are light-beings." 'Sex' is a bodily function; 'love' is a conglomeration of bodily functions, one of which is 'sex.' Biology is spiritual. With More Devotion to than Words Dare Express, Uncle MythMan

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Sex is Biological and Love is Spiritual

Very good observations in your article, Aidenofthetower. May you have one vote from me. You see sex is a biological state of mind and love is spiritual. Love develops very fast in a man and equally falls very fast. In a woman, love rises very slowly and once risen it tend to remain there. ReadMe.

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Martin...I definitely agree

Martin...I definitely agree with you on several points. Sex with someone who is just taking it isn't much fun for either person. This happens with some women because they don't know better, others are just having sex out of a duty they feel and aren't really into it. This isn't really about you tricking your woman into more sex it is sorta like learning her language. See it this way. Guys get turned on by women getting naked. I should say most guys...on the other hand, most girls don't get near as turned on with nudity as men. They have different signals that make them turned on and that make them feel loved. For some women this might be their man doing the dishes. It shows that he cares and that he is there in a deeper capacity. It might be the roses or extra hugs. It all depends on the girl. But instead of tricking her you are learning to speak her language to turn her on more and therefore get more sex. I definitely am against two things. One, sex out of duty. I think this is actually bad for a relationship. It makes the wife resent her husband and it isn't really good for him either...after all his hand would do the job too (sorry if that offends any one). I am also against women using sex to "lord over their man". I have seen it lots of times, but it is just wrong! One last thing...marriage does tend to change things...especially as years pass and kids come.

Sadly, this happens a lot.

Sadly, this happens a lot. And it doesn't help out the woman side of everything. Reading posts online in a few groups I belong to and I would have to say that a lot of women who like and even love sex are feeling this crunch. Listening is such a huge key, but it really isn't as easy for men to do as women. It just isn't in their make up. One note on men...not all of them are the same. So, I apologize to all of those listeners out there!

How You Hear It

Each person hears "I love you" in a different way...some are ones who like gifts best, others like actions. Sounds like you are definitely an action kind of girl. But it still boils down to the same thing. If you are feeling built up with the right kinds of romance you are probably going to be in the mood more.

Sex

"But if you do play by her rules, then you will find the experience more pleasurable for both of you" I strongly disagree, good sex is not one way communication. You should play by eachothers rules. Women are too often acting like they are some kind of trophy when it comes to sex. Well guess what, I (and I believe man men with me) don't enjoy having sex with "receivers" they often act dead in bed just lying there like a bag of potatoes. It must be either laziness ,inexperience or selfishness that makes certain women act like that and it's not sexy! Play by mutual rules and both parties will have better sex. I also think it's wrong that you should have to try and "trick" your woman into more sex with romance (if it's not real and if it's real you wouldnt have to make the effort), if you can't ask your woman straight out if she wants to have sex and she can't give a straight answer I would go for someone else. P.s. I'm not married so I wouldn't know anything about how married couples do these things

Energy

If they have enough energy to have sex then they should have some to spare for those household chores, few things are sexier that a manly stud wearing an apron, doing the dishes and putting the kids to bed etc... Get Paid $$$ to Write! Join Xomba! www.xomba.com/referral/7778f814

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