Is the 2008 Republican presidential campaign straight out of a soap opera or what?

Now we have a new plot twist and a golden opportunity for holier-than-thou-ing on the part of the Evanjellies. Just days after they got pumped up by John McCain’s “brilliant” choice of running mate—Rookie Alaska Governor Sarah Palin, a pious pro-lifer with five kids under her belt to prove it, including a Down syndrome baby born in April, their bubble has been pricked but hardly deflated. First, the April arrival, Trig, had been rumored to secretly be her 17-year-old unmarried daughter Bristol’s child. But Palin tried to deflect that nasty gossip by announcing today that Bristol will have her own baby in December.

Well, that’s a relief, huh? And, commented Palin, by God, she’s going to learn how hard it is to take care of a child. So I guess that’s Bristol’s punishment for doing what comes natural with her boyfriend without using contraceptives, thanks to her parents’ impeccable “family values”. Yeah, that’ll teach ‘er!

That the Republican Veep candidate has a teenage daughter who engages in premarital sex (a no-no for the Rapture Right but perfectly normal for most anyone else) apparently without benefit of birth control and sex education (because that would be evil, according to the Rapture Right) is not exactly a shocker. And not surprisingly, Bristol’s parents have stated that not only will she raise the child, but she will also marry the father (a yes-yes and standing ovation from the Rapture Right).

So what’s the lesson here? That abstinence from and ignorance about sex is always the best policy with a horny, curious kid, and if you don’t succeed with that losing strategy and your kid “sins” anyway, she’s obligated to continue the pregnancy and keep the baby? Poor Bristol, trapped in such a self-righteous family. She has my sympathy. The world really needs more unwanted children and shotgun marriages.

And has anyone considered who’s going to have enough time to help raise the two Palin family additions, should the Republicans happen to win the election? It can’t be Sarah—she’ll be too busy learning about national security and all the other important issues she has no clue about as the second-in-command to the leader of the free world. Hmmm . . .

As if Babygate weren’t enough to give Karl Rove migraines, Governor Palin also has the weight of Troopergate hanging over her pretty little head. That, in brief, involves her firing of Alaska public safety commissioner Walt Monegan allegedly because he had refused to fire Mike Wooten, an estranged ex-brother-in-law of hers who works as a state trooper—and with a few subplots thrown into the mix, as with all soaps.

But you couldn’t make this stuff up.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080901/ap_on_el_pr/cvn_palin_troopergate_2

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080901/ap_on_el_pr/cvn_palin_daughter;_ylt=AqTslAokTPBd1_ydDkO5.4Ws0NUE