Well, here it is...another Saturday night alone. Not completely alone of course. My son and his friend are here. They went to work with me for a couple of hours, went swimming, and we came home and baked cookies. Now they're watching a movie in his room.

Sometimes I wish I had a babysitter on Saturday nights. It wouldn't really make a difference though. I'm so shy I wouldn't go somewhere by myself. The only place to really meet people around here are bars, and I'm done with that part of my life. I don't enjoy bars. Too many drunk and stupid people packed in one place. So, here I sit...again. Sometimes I wonder if I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life. I would like to think not, but it could happen. When I do find someone I really like I go all nutty. I become a pest. I don't do it intentionally. I just can't seem to help myself. I'm so lonely that I just want someone here to talk with. I miss snuggling and watching a movie. I miss having conversations about anything but Star Wars. I've even tried chatrooms. I just have nothing to say in there. I've discovered most men just want to have cyber sex or phone sex anyway. That's just not what I'm looking for.

So, I'll just keep sitting here on Saturday nights. Maybe someday I'll find what I'm looking for.