Thursday, April 06, 2006

2:05 AM - Heaven and Hell Are Both 'Knowing the Grail-Pattern' ...
Current mood: annoyed
Category: Life

This starts as a prophecy I got on the way back home from the bar, but sidetracks into instructions for keeping government-workers out of Hell.

'Heaven' is knowing that you are inside the Grail-pattern; 'Hell' is knowing that you are outside the Grail-pattern. (And if you don't know what the Grail-pattern is, read/meditate-with The DaVinci Code

That definition of Heaven and Hell is one way of explaining why I decided to stay alive: beside the fact that dying hurts, I knew that I had not fulfilled the Grail-pattern (I'm sure I was on my way to 'Heaven,' but I would've had to've been more than coin's-edge lucky to be anything more than a cloud-puff up there.)

You see, the aim of the Grail-pattern is to promote life ... I would only have earned a 'place in Heaven' if two of my friends met because of me, married, raised a family and credited me for their meeting (maybe named a park, a hotel and a kid-or-three after me.)

But residence in Heaven or Hell, like the governmental interpretation of "justice," is based on "what one has actually done" (not "what one could've done" or "what one has imagined doing").

The governmental-interpretation of "justice" might be good for one who was accused of committing "injustice"—the accusers are made to carry the "burden of proof" (i.e. they have to discover evidence that the accused actually perpetrated the injustice).

That's bad when the injustice was not actual; MY FUTURE WAS STOLEN FROM ME. And that 'future' was only documented "by indcation" through the various 'feats' I'd accomplished up to that point; were I to tell you all the stuff I'd done (as if I were just-now finishing it), you'd think, "Wow, J has a big 'future ahead of him!'" As you are quite-possibly unaware, "future ahead" is intangible property.

When a worker of the Justice Department reads this, he/she will probably say, "Wull, J, you still have a big 'future ahead of you!'"

"Yes," I would agree, swiftly followed by, "but," in order to avoid being cut-off, "not the future I was building."

Justice workers, most-often trained- or training-to be -back-stabbe- lawyers, will most often interrupt accusers mid-accusation; so I would have to hurry and advance the argument with a question, "... are you telling me that if I bomb a construction-site, justice is served if the owners pay the architects to draw-up new building-plans ... which they then pay the construction-company to build?

"Maybe it's just some fairy-tale I'm strung-out on, but I thought that–if I do indeed bomb the construction-site–justice is only served if I repay the owners for any payment made to the construction-staff, and if I repay the families of any whom I kill."

Here I'm not sure if I would end my argument there or
 continue it with the further reasoning below. But the
 further reasoning will help you to understand my position,
 so I go on ...

I suppose that's just my pesky 'morality.' So I could bomb a construction-site, but I would do it only if a) I were given all the equipment free (on top of the repayment I would feel compelled to give the owner, on top of the huge amount of money/credit that would serve as initiative to go through with it), b) I were given total immunity to evade any accusations of murder (on top of the repayment I would feel compelled to give the families of the dead, on top of the 'blood money'-payment which would justify the deaths to me) and c) ... well, I don't have a (c); but it seems that there should be three reasons for any explosive work, so more initiative-money/credit wouldn't go unnoticed.

Even though I gave the 'construction-site bombing' a lot of space above, you ought to know that I know the bombing is totally inconceivable. I just wrote it so that you might see how I'm led to believe that my justice has not been served. When I was killed and came back, my future stayed dead.

Now I'm 25-years-old, still under parental-guardianship, and living off a pittance of a settlement. If you recall, the 'plan' should've resulted in an independant (tax-paying) citizen living off of the fruits of 'his labor,' (which included the 14-years' training which was ripped from my body, and the rest of my life's training denied because I didn't have the first 14).

The kind of justice I seek is not 'vengeful;' I don't care where the money/goods come from, just that I receive them. The method of this justice–much like my method of forgiveness–involves simply agreeing where we left off and continuing from there.

I would be willing to simply accept a rental-house (with a 14-year hold on the rent and with an option to buy) with enough extra money for three meals a day for that 14 years, if I could remain a 'legal dependant' and still get a respectable job.

I ask for the 'dependancy' in order to evade taxes until such time as the 14-years is repaid to me, yet I still want a respectable job because a) humans often wish to do more than eat/drink and sleep ('more' which often costs money), and b) after the 14-years, prospective-employers will want to see that my resume has more experience than 'school, school, death, school, school, slobbery' on it.

But, you probably think that human life is worthless. In that case, I know exactly which end of the immortality-machine to put you in.