Poor old Si. First he was parodied for his high-waisted trousers, then his hyper-white teeth and all along he’s been labelled as Mr. Nasty, king of sting. I don’t see this nasty streak. Yes, he can be blunt. Yes, sometimes he is a tad less than tolerant of banshees who not only present themselves on the X Factor claiming they can win, but argue and tell him he doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

Maybe he’s mellowed, but I don’t see this famous malice. In fact I think that under the circumstances he’d be entitled to be a helluva lot ruder. (Reckon I’d be.) Some of these moronic contestants have high cringe value (the C- factor?) but others are just wasting the judges’ time. That’s probably several grand an hour for the panel. And wouldn’t people puff and squeak if Simon said one thing to their faces and then it came out that he trashed them off-camera? Delivering reality checks can’t be the best job in the world, but sometimes someone’s got to do it and it’s not going to be Cheryl. Or Dannii. Or Louis for that matter. Let’s give Simon credit for the guts for doing the job no-one else wants.

I think Simon is a secret softy but doesn’t want to show it. He does loads for charity (as he should with his kind of cash) and regularly shows a real empathy with the wannabes. When they need to be put at ease, our Si has the social skills to do it. When they need smacking down, he’s not afraid to deliver it. He’d make a good parent, don’t you think?

In short, he’s not mean but I reckon he was shrewd enough to exploit his reputation as prince of the put-down to boost ratings. And why not? He does more good than harm. He deserves his status as a pop culture icon. Let’s pan the politicians instead.