I love quotations. I really enjoy quotes from literature, and from movies (don’t get me started on Casablanca, or I will never stop). My favorite quotes, however, are from television. Two of my main sources are the Andy Griffith Show and the Simpsons. I’ll talk about Andy and Barney in another article, but as for today, I want to talk about the Simpsons, and how it is a gold mine of quotations. With that said, here are a few examples of how you can use the Simpsons to spice up the conversations of your every day life.

 

First, you should watch every Simpson’s episode at least 5-7 times. Sadly, this doesn’t apply for the last few years. Somehow, after the first 15-16 years, the show seemed to lose some of its zing. Of course, it is amazing that it stayed so good for so long, and there is ample material in those first dozen or so years. So, I can’t complain. Anyway, to do this properly, there is no substitute for watching the show. Nevertheless, if you somehow missed the original episodes, and all those re-runs (were you living in a cave?), and if you don’t have time to watch them all right now, there are web sites available that have selected quotes. Be warned, however, these sites never seem to have my favorite ones, so you might be missing something if you take this shortcut.

 

Live your normal day to day life. You don’t have to go on an overseas trip as a medical courier, like Bart, or you don’t have to go to Australia and insult the Prime Minister, or to Great Britain to insult the Queen, or to China, or any of the places that they went in the show. Before you know it, something will happen, and it will inspire a Simpson’s quote. For example, the other day, I was watching some actor pontificate on something or other that he considered to be earth shatteringly important.  As usual, he was blissfully ignorant of the facts, but hey, what does that matter, it sounded good. Immediately, this dimwit reminded me of the ‘Boy in the Well’ episode and how the Hollywood elite got together to make a record. My favorite quote was, “Though we can’t get him out, we’ll do the next best thing, go on TV and sing, sing, sing!” Yes, ‘sending your love down the well’ makes all the difference. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if Hollywood ran everything? Oh wait, they do.

 

Whenever you get frustrated with our political system and feel the need to express yourself, just think about the ‘Bart’s Comet’ episode. Springfield was about to be blasted by a comet, and Congress was voting whether to spend the money to save it. Prior to the vote, one of the congressmen attached a rider to also give support for the ‘perverted arts’ and so it was voted down. Upon seeing this, the local TV anchorman said what I am sure that most of us believe. “If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times,” he opined, “our democratic system does not work.” Yes indeed, so very true.

 

Finally, for all you writers out there, you might consider using a Mr. Burns quote. In one episode, Mr. Burns was giving Homer a tour of his house, and he carried him to a room that was filled with monkeys. As you probably guessed, the monkeys were sitting at desks and typing away. This sight caused Mr. Burns to recite a quote, a variant of which, by the way, dates back to Aristotle. Mr. Burns said, “Here I have a thousand monkeys typing on a thousand type writers, and soon, one of them will write the greatest story ever told.”  Yes, fellow simians, someday, one of us could be that lucky ape. So keep on typing.