The sky is darkening but the scenery is the same as they head back. There is silence between them. His father has a fain grin on his face and seems very content. Grady remembers the times when his father would return from his jobs and would sometimes sleep for a day or two.

“It didn’t hurt like it did before, did it?”

Grady just shakes his head. His nerves feel more alive than they have before. He feels tired but he does not feel violated like he has before. There is something of contentment about him. For the first time he wonders if he could do this for the rest of his life.

“Do you understand now?”

“I think I have some idea. I still don’t know if this is something I want to do for the rest of my life. Maybe if every time could be like that. Then again, I don’t think I could stand that many tears every day.”

“Grady, people like you and me are needed. There are remarkably few of us left. There were very few of us in the beginning, now that I think about it. Most of the people who claimed to be sin-eaters back in the old days weren’t really anything more than tricksters. People like you and me are rare.”

“Is there really a need? If there is why can’t we help everyone who’s dying? Why only the people this organization you work for sends you to? How do they choose those people? Who decides who is and isn’t worth saving?

“I don’t ask questions, Grady. I just trust the people I work for. You young people these days spend too much time asking too many questions.”

“Maybe people should ask more questions. Maybe you are too trusting. How can you be sure that these people you work for are working for the side of good?”

“Why would they be asking me to do this for bad? What purpose does it serve evil to cleanse souls?”

“Well, you send enough souls into the afterlife that shouldn’t be cleansed and, who knows?”

“I suppose it all depends on what you believe happens after you die. Certain religions say it doesn’t matter how clean you are if you don’t believe certain things you aren’t going anywhere but somewhere hot.”

“That’s the other thing that bothers me. You never get to see what’s beyond, do you? You never get to see what’s past the field you see.”

“That doesn’t bother me. I know there’s something. That’s all I need to know.”

Grady falls silent. Although he feels content there is a heaviness in him that he isn’t familiar with. It’s like there’s a burden on his back. It’s something he felt before when he absorbed the sins of his friends.

“What is this heaviness that I feel whenever something like that happens to me.”

“Those are the sins, Grady. You have your own burden of sins and when you absorb the sins of others they add weight to you.”

“What do you do?”

“Take a shower.”

“What?”

“Water seems to help. Maybe it’s like being baptized all over again. I don’t really know why it works, I just know that water seems to help. It’s like it washes the excess stuff away.”

Grady nods. He really doesn’t understand this but then there is a lot of what he can do that he really doesn’t understand. Nothing about his life really makes any sense. How is it that you can know that there is a soul and that sins are something real and that they follow you into your afterlife? How can someone carry that knowledge with them and not go completely insane? Sometimes he thinks he may just go insane with the knowledge anyway.

“I’m not saying this job is always easy, Grady. I’m just saying I think there’s a purpose to what we do. What it is isn’t for me to know.”

“I just don’t know, dad. I’ve tasted a normal life. I can see having a normal life with Amy. I can see having kids and settling down. I can see enjoying doing something with my life that doesn’t involve being around dying people. I’ve tasted it and I liked it.”

“You’re more powerful than I was at your age, Grady. You may even be better at this job than I am.”

“Dad, do you know what it was like growing up with you as a father? You would get called at any time even in the middle of the night. You would travel all over the world. You were always quiet and withdrawn. You are trying to present this blissful image of what your job is but I’ve seen some of the effects it has had on you over the years. I know it’s taken a toll on you. I know it’s made you sick at times.”

They are silent for a moment. The air turns cool. Grady opens the window and lets the cool air wash over his face. He smells the air and he smells freedom. He can smell a life outside of this. He can smell a life outside of the burden he now feels on his own soul.

“We aren’t done with your training yet, Grady. Maybe you will change by the time it’s over.”

“How much longer do you think this will take?”

“At the rate you’re going I think maybe two weeks.”

“I hope Amy and I can get our jobs back.”

“You’re office workers, Grady. I think you’ll be able to find something pretty quickly if they terminate your job.”

“Yeah, that’s the way to convince me dad. Go ahead and make fun of the job I enjoy.”

They fall silent then. Grady closes his eyes and enjoys the cool air across his forehead. The miles dwindle and eventually the house comes into view. Grady and his father enter the house.

Grady’s father heads for his mother’s arms. Grady heads for Amy who is sitting in the living room. For the first time he feels tears brimming beneath his lower eyelids. He blinks and Amy becomes tow and then three. She comes to him and puts her arms around him.

“Sorry, it wasn’t as bad as it must look. It was pretty emotional. I think I need to take a shower.”

She kisses him and he returns the kiss.

“Go and do what you need to do, Grady. I’ll be waiting when you get out.”

Grady nods and he heads upstairs. He enters his room and his clothes fall from his body and he leaves them where they fall on the floor. This is exactly the kind of behavior his mother used to yell at him about when he was a kid but he doesn’t matter. He enters the bathroom and looks at himself in the mirror.

He studies the image before him. He sees a young man with red hair and skin that is probably far too white for his own good. He is skinny but there is muscle there. He looks at the freckles that dot his face and chest. He sticks out his tongue. Despite his youthful appearance there is something old behind his eyes that he can see. He cannot explain it. He just feels older than he looks.

The hot water beats down on his back and head and neck. He sticks his head under the water and he lets it wash over his face. He feels the water run down his neck and his cheeks. The water runs over the edges of his mouth and he lets some of it in and then spits it out. He closes his eyes and just feels the water run over his body. Slowly, very slowly, he starts to feel lighter.

When he gets out of the shower he dries himself and looks at the reflection again. He looks more like his old self. The ancient and haunted look he saw there before is now gone. He moves closer to the mirror and studies his eyes. Perhaps it is not gone but it is diminished. He doesn’t think he will ever look exactly the same again as long as he lives.

He wraps the towel around his waist and steps into his room. His head is down and he is running his fingers through his wet hair. When he hears the voice he nearly jumps right through the ceiling.

“Feeling better?”

He opens his eyes with his heart hammering in his chest. Amy is in his bed. She has the covers pulled up to her chin but her bare shoulders are visible above the edge of the sheet. She has a smile on her face. Even in the shadows he can see those blue eyes. He can picture those blue eyes in the darkest of nights and he sees them now.

“I’m doing even better now that I see you.”

He goes to her. He kisses her. She puts her arms around him. She kisses him back. Together they push away the darkness for a while.