Grady is standing in his bedroom all of seventeen years old and convinced he has the entire world figured out. This is a delusion he has been honing for years now. Ever since he turned about fifteen he realized he didn’t want to continue in the family business. He has been telling his father this for years and his father has been nodding and acting as though he were not listening equally as long.

He is seventeen all of three weeks and he is packing his suitcase when his father walks in. His father’s face pierces Grady’s heart but his own heart is made up. The only way to get away from this insane family and this insane ability he has is to run far away. He needs to get out from under his father’s thumb even though he loves the man more dearly than he can possibly express at seventeen.

“Where do you think you’re going? What’s this craziness your mother is talking about?”

“I have to get away from here, Dad. You won’t listen to me. I can’t get away from this insanity by staying here. I have to leave.”

“You can’t run away from this, Grady! No matter where you go or what you do this is going to go with you. You can try to ignore it but it’s always going to be there. You can’t get away from it. Are you going to move to some island somewhere where no one can touch you and you can’t see anyone?”

“I don’t know. What kind of life have you given me here, dad? Who takes a thirteen year old kid to the house of someone who’s dying? Who makes their child live with death day after day for their entire lives? How can you do this to me? Who fills their kid’s head with this kind of crap?”

“Do you think this is something I wanted? Did I want to do this to you? Did I want to have to do this myself? None of this Grady is anything I wanted. This is what we are meant to do. We have to do this.“

“Yes, you keep telling me that, dad. You keep saying that stuff again and again. You have been telling me this again and again for my entire life. What does that mean? None of it means anything, dad. I won’t do this anymore.”

“Where are you going to go, Grady? There is no where you can go!”

“I’m going to start with North America and then work my way around if I have to, dad. I’m leaving.”

Grady pushes past his father. His father grabs at his shoulder and he feels the hand squeeze the flesh of his shoulder. He stops. His father’s mouth opens and then closes and then opens and closes again. Finally, at last, his father’s head bows and his chin touches his chest. The hand releases his shoulder and Grady pushes past.

Downstairs his mother is standing in the kitchen. She is no longer crying but her face is red from the tears she has been crying. She looks at him and he sees fresh tears spring out in her eyes. Each tear sparkles in her eyes like diamonds.

“Please, Grady. Don’t go. Listen to your father.”

“I can’t, mom. Nothing you or dad says will make me stay. I can’t stay here. I just can’t do this.”

She lowers her head then. She brings a tattered and crumpled tissue to her eyes. He starts to walk past her and this time it isn’t just a hand on his shoulders but two arms that encircle him. He lets them. Then he turns and encircles her in his arms as well.

“Please, Grady, tell me when you get settled somewhere. Don’t shut me out entirely.”

“I promise, mom. I love you.”

“I love you too, Grady. Be careful.”

He pats her on the back and it seems like a truly futile and stupid gesture. So many gestures are so empty and meaningless when you stop and take a look at them. She lets go and he sees the tears have spilled over her cheeks again. He leans in and kisses her swollen and tear-stained cheeks and then walks out. He does not look back. On his back is bag that holds just enough clothing to last a few days. He hasn’t got much money in his pockets. He does have a plane ticket and it will take him all the way to Toronto. He has a passport. He has, more than anything, a determination to put Ireland and his family behind him for now.