“Come on. Go with us. It will be fun,” insisted Patti. “It’s for a good cause, and you’ll love it.”

 

            The annual women’s shelter benefit was always on October 31. It would be a new and different experience, so why not go, I thought.

 

            “Eric will drive you there,” Patti said. Although we were not in costume, I was wearing an orange top and jeans. That counted, I thought, and I should fit into the crowd quite well.

 

            When Eric and Tara  arrived to pick us up, I ended up in the backseat scrunched between a gorilla and a witch.

 

            “Oh Wow!” I thought. “This is spooky,” but what was even spookier was that the driver was also a gorilla. Well, he looked somewhat real with a gorilla face and hairy body. Big gorilla hands were in plain sight on the steering wheel. I hoped that we could get to the center without attracting too much attention. So far so good. 

 

            Just then, I heard a faint siren in the distance, and in a few seconds bright lights were flashing behind us. Eric pulled off the road and scrambled to take off his gorilla head before the officer got up to his window. Unfortunately he wasn’t quick enough as the officer asked to see his driver’s license. The gorilla didn’t have a pocket. Oh, where had he put his license. Then he remembered that it was back at the house. Yikes!! Now he had a lot of explaining to do. What would he say. After an embarrassed gulp, he started from the beginning. Would the officer buy it? Eric hoped he would just write the ticket and get on with it.

 

            “Son,” the officer began. “Don’t you know that gorillas don’t drive—EVER!! Whatever made you do such a fool stunt? Don’t you know you are endangering the lives of everyone on this highway? Don’t you KNOW that? Hasn’t anyone ever taught you responsibility…Son, don’t you have any sense at all…” he asked in exasperation. Finally he took a break in his lecture but then shined his flashlight into the back seat. I sat very quietly, visualizing myself sitting overnight in a smelly jail cell with bread and water for breakfast.

 

            Well, at least I LOOKED normal, but what was I doing here with this crowd. Now the other gorilla in the back seat was the one that had some explaining to do. She stammered,  a little tongue tied, “We are on our way to a women’s shelter benefit. Please don’t take us to jail, officer…Please, she pleaded.” 

 

            “Well, I’m going to have to write a ticket. The driver has no license with him and is dressed like a gorilla besides,” he reiterated.

 

“No, sir ee…” he added. “Nobody is getting off scot free in this car. You’ve all got to learn some responsibility. I realize it may be for a good cause, but just the same…” his voice trailed off in a slightly more compassionate tone. I was hoping at least ….

 

            After an hour or so we were finally on our way with an added bonus—a hefty ticket—and finally the seriousness of what “might have been” broke into hilarious laughter.

 

            We got to the building and the contest was over. The gorillas had missed out this year. Someone else took the award. That was quite all right with the gorillas who quickly changed their clothes before thinking about getting back into the car and heading for home. And I was just as happy not to be scrunched between a gorilla and a witch on the ride back home.

 

 copyright 2009 by Marilyn S. Murphree