Learning is real spooky.

I know that people get spooked by some silly things and I even found myself jumping with a start at what was a simple touch on the back of my shoulder. Normally I am so alert to my surroundings that no one can get close enough to me to surprise me. I like it that way even though it requires a certain amount of extra effort on my part. When people want to tell me about some spooky event they experienced I pretend that I have an interest even though I don’t. People that tend to see things that are not there bore me and no matter how impressed and convincing they try to be I find the stories boring. There is never any solid evidence that confirms, objectively, what they have to say.

That was me when I came across an advertisement that got a great deal of publicity for a bedding and mattress retailer offering $1,000.00 to anyone that applied, and was chosen, to sleep at an alleged haunted house on one of their mattresses. It was a funny ad pointing out that even on Halloween, and even in a haunted house, you would get a good night sleep on one of their mattresses. I called the number not thinking I would get the job with so many Halloween freaks out there, going for it. They asked me a number of questions and advised me they would be in touch. Halloween was only a week away so it had to be decided soon. Two days before Halloween I got the call. I was chosen! This caused me to wonder what I may have said that got me the job. Thinking back over the events I decided that I probably was able to impress them that I was the least likely to get ruffled by the experience and that would serve the purpose of their promotion.

The house it turned out had been empty for quite a while. Long enough for much of the interior to have been trashed or demolished. It was a large house that I could see was probably quite fancy at one time. It is hard to understand why but the lavatory sinks and the toilet bowls had been removed or, in some cases broken. The promoters had to provide me with a portable potty; I did not expect this much bad news. Ghosts are all right but I want my comforts. After a brief tour of the old place I went shopping for snacks, beer, a flashlight, (there was no power there) and a wind up alarm clock. I got some bottled water and an old pair of my slip on slippers. There was a lot of dirt on the floors mixed with plaster and broken glass. I thought should I get one of those throw away cameras just in case? No way I told myself, don’t get carried away. I had what I wanted for my one night stand and I met the promoters on the morning of Halloween. These people did not miss a trick. They had the media people there to show all the details. I suspect that early that morning, before I arrived, the eager beavers showed up and video taped the entire interior of the house. When I arrived I was the center of attention for possibly two minutes just so they could get my picture. The promoters did not want me saying anything like I did not believe in ghosts or spirits or Ghouls. On the other hand I was not about to act apprehensive for the benefit of the promoters. A little extra offer and I would have tried. It was about noon when they finally left and I was on my own in the old place. I went through the place carefully looking for possible camera cams and loose things that might fall on their own and the place looked clean to me. I was very much aware that the promoters were not going to play tricks because my not being disturbed was the key to the success of their promotion. My other concern was that some local pranksters might try to give me a scare just for the fun of it.

This was a breeze, I thought. It was not quite dark yet but the shadows were getting longer. When they installed the bedding, which consisted of a box spring, a mattress and bedclothes, I picked the living room because it was a large room on the first floor even though they wanted me in an upstairs bedroom. They knew we were the only ones to know so they let me do it. The bed was very comfortable and I rolled all over it to try it out. There was no bedside table so I fixed my wind up clock that had luminous hands and a row of luminous dots around the numbers, and set it on the floor close to my side of the bed. There was just enough light left to read a little bit of a magazine I bought and I got my self in a comfortable position. In no time at all I dozed off.

I woke up and checked my clock, it was 10 P.M. and very dark. I had to pee so I slipped on my slippers and took my flashlight. The place was very quiet. As I returned to bed I heard the faint sounds of kitchen noises. It sounded like some one was emptying a dishwasher and putting plates and pots away. It was very faint but unmistakable. Standing there in the dark this was spooky. I told myself it was probably rats running around. I went to the kitchen to look and was surprised that the sounds did not get louder as I approached, they did not stop either. I flashed my light around the kitchen pointing in the hole where the dishwasher once was and surprised two roaches that scurried off. There were no cabinets into which one could put plates but the sound continued. I decided to put it out of my mind and went to my bed. As I walked there I noticed that the sounds did not lessen but stayed at the same level and that was upsetting because it caused me to think the sounds were in my head and not coming from the kitchen at all. I got into bed determined to sleep. I lay there for about 30 minutes when I began to hear voices, like two or three people engaged in a conversation. They were speaking English but I could not make out the words. Like “stir”, “okd” “flemner” and such. I tried to make sense of it but I could not. I was straining to listen when all of a sudden they shouted NOOoooo, so loudly I almost fell on to the floor. I was really shaking now while the voices continued to get more hostile and louder about whatever it was they were arguing about. I turn my flashlight on and swept the room and found nothing to see.

This was not good. There was no likelihood that I would get to sleep while that racket was going on. This was now so loud that I no longer heard the kitchen sounds. I kept staring into the darkness expecting to see people show up to go with the voices. This lasted about an hour and I just lay there exhausted from fright and apprehension. At this point the voices became much more tolerable and I heard the sounds of a lot of children’s footsteps, as if a half dozen kids came running into the room. They were very active by the sound of it but there was nothing to see. Some how I managed to sleep a while and I next awoke at 11:30 P.M. It was the shouting of children and people that did it. My fear returned immediately. This was no dream. They were now barely visible, not so much like we think a ghost would look like, but rather like shadows that were not as dark as the room was.

The children were holding hands in a circle and jumping around while shouting, “ring around the circle” and the adults were watching and clapping their hands. The scene gave me a foreboding that something terrible was going to happen any moment. Witlessly I sat up and shouted, “stop”, “please stop”, “I can’t stand it”. There was a sudden silence. All of the shadows looked in my direction. I was frightened but a little relieved to note they were squinting as if they could not see me. I laid back down and pulled the covers up to my chin The presence of the shadows did not make the room any lighter but I could see their movements somewhat. The children then began to jump up and down on my bed. This was horrifying for me and I must have passed out. I next awoke to a sunny morning and assured my promoters that I had an uneventful night. What else could I say?