I must have the weirdest luck, it always seems like I am in the right place at the right time but with no video camera. Yesterday I decided to visit my favorite local donut shop, as they seem to have magical donuts! I don’t know what they do to them but they seem to be the only ones I have had that don’t give me heartburn.

Anyway, it being the 15th and the last day for people to file their returns, the H & R Block next door to the donut shop looked like it was a mad house. Taj, the Indian owner of the donut shop (and one crazy guy I might add, he admits to being stoned all day!) asked me if I wanted to wait for a fresh batch of donuts. “Sure, that would be great.” I responded. As I waited I went outside to get today’s newspaper from the newsstand.

As I approached the newsstand I heard some yelling coming from across the parking lot. It looked like as some guy pulled in the parking lot he almost hit a person in a statue of liberty costume waving a sign advertising for H & R Block. The person in the statue of liberty costume threw part of the costume off and yelled some obscenities at the guy and flipped him off! The guy in the car flipped him off and yelled something back as he got out of the car.

As the guy from the car approached the guy in the statue of liberty costume he was greeted upside the head with the sign that was being waved! Before he could get up the guy in the statue of liberty costume jumped on him and started to punch him in the face. It looked hilarious due to the giant hands that were part of the costume. I went back in the shop and informed Taj what was going on and advised him to call the police. He obliged and quickly called 911 and reported the incident. Afterward we poked our heads outside to see what was going on.

At this point the guy that was in the statue of liberty costume was still sitting on the other guy hitting him over and over in the head with the sign that was being waved. From where we were we could see that the guy being hit was definitely bleeding and was just trying to protect himself from being bludgeoned with that blunt object.

It was crazy; I’ve never seen someone so possessed! The guy that was in the statue of liberty costume was screaming as he was putting the smack down on the other guy, who was basically defenseless. Within a few minutes two cop cars came to a screeching halt a few yards away from the two combatants. Both officers had guns drawn as they demanded the guy in the statue of liberty costume to get face down on the ground with his hands behind his head. After putting the guy in the statue of liberty costume in the back of the car the officers then took witness statements.

It was about this time that my order was ready. I commented to Taj as I paid for it, “Can you believe what we just saw, that was one pissed off statue of liberty!” “No kidding, it looked so funny with those giant hands hitting the other guy. I couldn’t believe my eyes; I thought it was the hookah pipe I’ve been hitting all morning!”

I got in my car and just had to chuckle to myself all the way home. It’s not everyday you see the statue of liberty pummeling some guy that was probably in a bad mood because he had to file his taxes. I wonder if it’s just me or what, it seems like whenever I go somewhere craziness and flying fists happen to break out. I need to start carrying a camera or something, people are crazy! See what tax day does to people!

-AngryDago-