3:29 AM - Rude Reminders
Current mood: scared
Category: Life

I was reminded last night that a) life is (and should be) over when you get married, b) girls/women are to be treated as if they are another man's property and c) the part of my brain that tells me to shut-up is only 10 years-old---doesn't have the codes-of-confidentiality 'hard-wired in' yet.

(Some of these 'reminders' may seem a little 'sexist,' but that's because I'm
 trying to keep it down to the 'practical methodologies' ... i.e. the way stuff
 works [no matter how you 'feel' about it].)

First, about marriage: I talked with a friend at the bar tonight--younger than me, divorced and re-married, with a toddler from the old marriage and a newborn from the new--who told me that he had to 'tie himself down' to keep from hitting-on one- or another-hottie---he can't trust the 'net' of his commitment to marriage to catch him if he innocently comments-on/further-experiences a woman's beauties.

That's when I asked his age. I thought he was in his 30's ... I was wrong; younger than 25! I guess that's what comes from being raised with morals in which one is not 'a man' until he 'has sex' (or some other experience like that), women don't have sex until married to a man, and sexual-protection is somehow unethical.

That second rule (no sex until marriage) thoroughly wussifies men. Because--although the process of getting to have sex is indeed qualifiable training for men's lives--the marriage-clause takes the life out of the lives of men.

You can probably find some girls 'smart enough' to forget that. But there's still that anti-protection ethic. The anti-protection ethic would again make the marriage necessary---as no one wants to have a child in a broken home.

That, and women wield power over their bodies ... I.e. you touch more-than-necessary, and--even if they like it--you're "trespassing" unless specifically invited.

You can see how that makes me think of 'property.' When a man first meets a woman, it's similar to when he first sees a car in the parking lot--he admires the build imagines what it might be like to drive it (so long as the 'equally human' woman doesn't notice him looking)--but he knows that he doesn't "own" the body.

He knows that--whether it means dealing with 'the dealership' (her and/or her parents) or deaing with 'the first buyer' (the husband/boyfriend ... involves some immorality and/or patience)--there will be some work involved before he can 'enact full usage.'

Perhaps I was thinking too much along those lines when I told one of the girls (whom I think of as a 'big-sister-in-law' as she is hooked-up-with one of my best-buddies) what my friend had said about her.

Right now, I'm pretty sure sort of 'code' normally understood by us men; but that's where my brain-injury comes into play. (I try not to talk about it; but it was a major turning-point in my life, so I end up involving it too-too often.)

Sparing you the details, the incident basically 'reset' my brain's connection---I still had all the memories, and my body was still the same one I had before the incident; but none of 'my training' (i.e. the burned-in script of the brain's practiced-and-repracticed instructions to the body) remained ... that included everything from running (which I still can't do) to juggling.

I suppose that somewhere in that 'training' was a demand for secrecy-of-discussed-desires; but I was a bit 'drunk' (though you might say I could never be drunk, as I was raised Roman Catholic), and the mechanical moral-code than the honorable moral-code seemed more-urgent at the time ...

... i.e. if one of my friends told me he wanted to hop-into- and drive-off-in-my other friend's car, I'd make sure the car was locked-up before I'd shut up and let it happen.

And I didn't fully 'rat the dude out'; I simply told my big-sister-in-law that the dude 'told me that he was only 22, and that (sometimes) it takes all his moral-strength to keep from hitting-on' her. (I meant it as more of a 'don't try to tempt him so much' than a 'look out for his advances.')

P.S. Question: Is a married woman considered a hottie to anyone but (possibly)
 her husband?