So, a while back, I was just minding my own business on patrol when I get a call to go to local motel in the city.  It seems that this woman was reporting that there had been a theft.  It was a bit confusing, something about two other men and one fleeing the area on a bicycle (just a note:  if you ever want to flee, get a car for god's sake!).  I felt a bit skeptical when reading the call, because that particular motel is not known for its high-class clientele to begin with.

Another officer gets there before I do, and catches the guy trying to get away on the bike.  This guy, Guy #1,  has petty crook/pimp written all over him, from his clothing to his bling to his reference to his "bitch".  So, when I pull into the parking lot of the motel, this other guy comes running out from the courtyard, flagging me down.

Guy #2 has this story about inviting the woman staying in the room next to him with Guy #1 to come to his room.  It seems that Guy #2 had been at the casino and won a little cash.  So the first thing he does, of course, is go right back to his seedy little hotel, strike up a conversation with these "neighbors", and tell them about his winnings.  He goes to get a Coke from the machine and the woman wants to go with him.  She then wants to go back to Guy #2's room, where she proceeds to tell him how, er, sexy she's feeling.  Being the Rhodes Scholar that he is, he agrees to participate in some nighttime activities.  Things progress to some activities, and when Guy #2 heads to the bathroom, the woman goes through his wallet, takes his ID and money, and hands it out the door to an accomplice.  He discovers his wallet has been opened, there's stuff missing, and he marches the woman back to the room she's sharing with Guy #1.  With wide, innocent eyes he completely denies that the woman is a prostitute.

Meanwhile, the woman, having not been seen or heard from this whole time, decides now is a good time to call 911 and tell us where she's at.  She also proclaims that, while she did engage in some sexual activities with Guy #2, it was not for money and she didn't take his money.  Then she tells me she was going to ask for $20 after the sexual act, but she swears she isn't a prostitute.  The woman finally spits it out that she did take the money, and she is a prostitute.  Guy #2 was supposed to give her 20 bucks for her services.  She tells me she took the money out of Guy #2's wallet, and then handed it out the door to another woman, known only as "Peaches".  We actually manage to locate the mysterious Peaches, who of course has no idea what we're talking about...

Finally, the woman gives it up, and gives back most of Guy #2's money.  He, of course, no longer wants to do anything about this, now that we know the woman's a prostitute and he's getting most of his money back.  As the woman hands me Guy #2's money to return to him, she asks me one simple question:
"Officer, he never gave me the money for the blow job.  Can you get my twenty bucks for me?"

People still amaze me.