Dear Abby

Hi Abby, (I hope you don’t mind, if I call you that, Mr. Abmox)

You must have already received a lot many ideas on how best to spend your summer, therefore I would not burden you with more of them. However I sure want to tell you what NOT to do during this summer, to make sure you don’t land yourself in trouble and mess up a bright future.

First of all, avoid video games like the plague. They are very addictive and harmful. I am listing this as the first point because the guys you live with, that’s right, N and J, they are both big gaming enthusiasts, a better word would be addicts and likely influence you a lot because of the proximity. Video games in the long run are detrimental to general health and end up reducing the efficiency of people. What better example than this that while the whole wide world is waiting impatiently for the new Xomba design to be unleashed, our friends are busy playing Ghostbusters.

Next you have to be careful dealing with the interns that have recently joined your organisation. You don’t have to be a President of the United States to figure that one out. Just step out in the street and ask anyone what happened with Bill. He had fun with the intern who in turn turned him in.

There are a lot of self developmental programs started by some enlightened people to help out those still in the dark. Just forget about them, especially the one with the law of attraction theory. I know of some Indian celebrities who took it up. I don’t know what all they achieved but one thing they sure did is attract the law. A couple of them are in Jail and rest on bail.

Another thing you need to avoid is discussion on God. Frankly every one is confused. With thousands of years behind humanity, even now there is no consensus even on the gender of God. Men say he is man, women say she is woman, some say neither, God is the soul or soul is the god. Some says God is inside everything, some say everything is inside God. The men say God made man, the women say Man made God man. It’s not making sense, is it? That’s why you should stay away.

Avoid getting into traffic. I know you are used to traveling in high speed space ships and maneuvering through thousands of comets, asteroids, space debris etc and that too without accidents but the thing is all those heavenly bodies follow the laws of physics whereas traffic on the earth does not and it is downright dangerous to be amidst bodies moving randomly without any rules.

Do not eat out, especially Pork. Swine flu! There is lot of consternation about the disease spreading through humans. I wonder what the big deal is since most women feel that most men are pigs. How else does a swine flu spread then? It’s a pig eat pig world.

Do not venture near the sea or beaches. It is downright dangerous. In 2004 the Tsunami rose in the Indian Ocean and many people from across the Atlantic and the Pacific were wondering, why they were there? You haven’t come millions of mile from your planet to be killed by a stupid, out of control, wave. We need you here. There are other dangers lurking in the sea, just watch some movies like the Jaws series, the Perfect Storm, Titanic, Speed-2 and the list is endless.

Talking of endless, here are some other things to avoid, Don’t drink, bad for the liver; Don’t smoke, bad for the lungs; Don’t go Bungee jumping, the rope can break; Don’t go sky diving, the chute may not open, Don’t play anything, you might break a bone; Don’t step out in the sun, you will get burnt; Don’t step in the rain, you will fall sick; Don’t go to hills, the Yeti will get you; Don’t go to forests, someone might poach you; Don’t go to the tropics, the insects will get you; Don’t fall in Love, the woman will get you etc etc etc

You must be wondering, then what is left to do in the summer? So am I.

Regards
Taprial