Lets talk about modern superheroes for a moment.  They have powers that mere man doesn’t have but would like to have.  They are hard to kill and if they do manage to die they generally come back a few books later. What’s not to like.  So I have decided to make my own superhero. 

    Now where to begin, how about flight, my superhero has to get around and airlines are not going to cut it.  If you can only fly as fast as you walk or run it is not much use so lets give him super speed.  You noticed that my super hero is now a man too huh.  Well I am the one making up the story so I relate to men more then to women being a man myself so my superhero is now a he. 

    My superhero has flight and super speed, now I need something to help mankind not much of a hero if he doesn’t help mankind so lets give him the ability to heal people.  People will definitely like this guy now.  You have a broke arm, cancer, or were just involved in a car accident you want to see this guy. 

    Why stop there lets give our now semi powerful superhero the ability to multiply objects.  He will never have to worry about working so long as he has some money to begin with.  And he can benefit mankind by feeding everybody and making sure there is water for everyone.

    So lets see we have a superhero who can fly, is super fast, can heal people, and can multiply things.  We are not quite done giving our hero powers yet since I am not going to make my hero super strong or impervious to harm lets make him lucky.  Luck can go a long way in this world.  And being lucky he will be harder to kill.

    Now the next power lets give it a built in weakness like he can only use it once every month.  The power is he is telekinetic.  He is so telekinetic he can rearrange atoms and molecules or rip the moon in half and put it back together.  (Now some of you have realized what I am doing please stay with the rest of the group and not jump ahead.  Jumping ahead can lead to confusion and generally not understanding the weirdness that is my mind.)

    To recap our superhero is a man because I am writing this and being a man I identify with men more then women.  Our hero can fly, is super fast, he can heal people, multiply objects, is lucky, and is a amazingly powerful telekinetic at least once a month.  Our hero can be hurt and killed, and is not super strong.  Lets face it the super strong and impervious to harm superheroes are a dime a dozen.

    Now the origin story every hero needs a good origin story.  Where did he come from why is he here.  Usually in comic books the heroes and villains don’t just get their own books they make guest appearances in other comics first and if they are popular they get there own.  It also gives them more history because they have more back-story with the characters who are already established. 

    Origins, now I have to come up with an origin tale for my hero.  Lets see hmm…
I will modify the one about the alien who sent his son to this planet to show mankind what is capable of.  Hey it worked for a guy in blue spandex with a red letter S on his chest.  But I need to make mine a little different.  My guy came from the future and his father sent him back to show mankind how great they could be but only if they follow his example.  Hey I didn’t say it was going to be original.

    My hero got sent back in time when he was still in the womb to a women who would act as his mother.  She was told what was going on and just accepted it no questions asked.  Not much of a story if she said no is there.

    Now for the back-story.  Three scientist detected the time shift and came to the women who has now just given birth and decide to help her and the child.  They protect her and make sure they are taken care of because the villains of the planet have also found out about him and want to kill him before he can fulfill his destiny.

    I am not going to get into him growing up because kind of boring.  Come on who wants to hear about his terrible two, or his awkward early teen years.  Him losing his virginity at age 15 with some girl who then when he grow up he never sees again.  Lets pick up the story he is in his mid twenties.  Every superhero needs a person to train them and to prepare the way for him so that is next. In the movie enter the cheesy 80’s music and training montage.  The person who does this is never as strong as the hero or why else do you need a hero and usually dies shortly after he prepares the hero and the way for the hero.

    Now our hero can work alone or he can form a super hero group.  Chances he will start off alone and then form a group.  Now when he forms the group there are certain rules that apply to almost all comic superhero groups. 
   
The one who formed it  has to be the most powerful
And he is the one that usually saves the day.
He can augment the powers and abilities of the other members of the group but he will always be the most powerful member
Someone in the group will betray him.
There are other heroes who will join the group when this happens
No one in the group will ever have a day job that pays enough to off set the expenses of the group but money is never in tight supply.

These rules apply to almost all super groups.  So lets make them apply to us.

    We now come to the villains.  They aren’t going to be as powerful as our hero but there are going to be a lot of them.  You have the henchmen who work for the actual villains and the villains themselves.  Even though the bad guys outnumber the hero they won’t kill him just yet.  The hero has to go through a few things yet, as all comic heroes have to. 
   
The hero has to team up with a hero from the past.
The hero has to fight off temptation he may even subcome to it for a while but he will overcome it in the end.
The hero must go through a period that is the hardest time in his life.

    Now the bad guys can kill him.  Our hero is dead but wait this is a comic book so our hero will be back in a little while.  When our hero comes back he is more powerful then ever.  They always are.

    Ok we have a basic story for our hero.  But wait I do know of one problem comic hero’s have, as the story goes on the hero get more and more powerful so every so often you have to start the hero’s story over again.  But with each telling the hero gets more and more god like powers until he can’t be stopped.

    Now something we will do is bring other authors and artist to work on the book.  They have a certain amount of freedom but we just have to keep them on tract.  Some of the stories will contradict each other but we will just ignore that fact so long as people think they are a good read.  And some stories  will contradict the stories of the others so much that they will never be published.  But it will make a great collector edition in a few years.  Maybe I will store them in jars around the Dead Sea.  Or just keep them in my file cabinet  Yea I will do that.

    Another problem is all heroes that follow my hero will have to be more and more powerful and have more and more ridiculous powers to compete with my hero.  Just like my hero had to be ridiculously powered to out do the heroes before him. 

    Now comes where I make a lot of people mad, but hey no one ever said life is easy.  Some people think superheroes are real.  Those people are generally considered crazy.  But what is the difference between my hero and the main characters in the Bible and Qur'an.  Not much but a few detail.  If you believe in any of the three you are believing in comic book superheroes nothing more.  My hero, the Bible, and the Qur’an are all made up books with made up heroes.  Nothing more.   My hero is just a valid if not more because I never tried to pass off my hero as real. 

    Now lets look at how religious icons are like comic book superheroes and my hero specifically

Both in the Bible and the Qur’an the icons ascended into heaven: That’s flight
Both in the Bible and the Qur’an both icons moved pretty quickly.  J with everywhere he went in 3 years and M with his horse ride:  That’s super speed
Both healed people so people would like them:  That’s the ability to heal people
   
    So far three out of three.  Just like I made my hero up.  Hey wait I did just make him up just like the all the other religious icons out there.  And the list goes on.
Both multiplied food and water:  That’s multiplication of objects.   
J changed water to wine and calmed the storm, and M ripped the moon in half and repaired it:  That’s telekinesis baby.
J walked on water:  That’s flight at least levitation.
Both were lucky with all the people who were trying to kill them:  Hey my hero is lucky too.
J died and came back and was more powerful then ever:  So did my guy.
My hero was written by a man or men:  Both of them fit this bill too.  This is getting kind of eerie
Both had groups that went with them and they fit the comic group rules:  My guy is going to form a group too.
J had John the Baptist and M had J:  They are both complying with the comic book methodology
Both clamed to know and work with Moses (superhero from the past):  Still complying with the methodology
Makes guest appearances in other established books:  Yep both have done that too they claim the old testament talks about them

    There are many more but I don’t want this to become just one big list.  Wow I have just listed 13 ways these religious icons are just like comic book superheroes.  There is one other thing that all three characters have in common They are not real.

    So to end I will say this if some of our comic stories were told back in the day they would have become religions that people would not be considered nuts for believing now and if the stories of J and M were not told back in the day and someone told them now and believed them we would lock them up and keep them away from sharp object because we would be afraid of what they might do with them.

    Believing in 2,000 year and 1,500 year old stories is paramount to believing in comic book superheroes.  If you believe in either you are just plain NUTS.