I think I’ll apply for a federal grant to study 'Why The Hell My Kids are Always Hot When it’s Cold, and Cold When it’s Hot'. More specifically, they make no effort to dress to suit the environmental conditions, the way a sane person would. Now it� s warm at night, and the 14 year old wants the fan on right next to his bed. He won’t open the window, take down the curtain he has draped over his bunk or even switch to non-flannel pajamas. “But Dad, I can’t sleep without the quilt. I feels weird!” So he lies there all night, sweating and stinking up the room.

This is the same kid who has refused to wear pants since we had one moderately mild day back in March.

The girl, on the other hand, wanted me to put on the heat in the car yesterday. I agreed to roll up the windows (it was over 80 degrees at 3PM), but that wasn’t enough. She pulled my fleece pullover from behind the seat to keep her warm. Seems reasonable, if a little high maintenance. But, like her brother, the 12 year old never does anything the way the adult world does. She put her legs through the sleeves and pulled it up over her waist, like malformed, fuzzy hip waders.

Who are these people?!

And they fight putting on sun block because they claim they don’t have sensitive skin. But God forbid you try to get them to put on sweater. “IT’S TOO ITCHY!!”