Ten Amusing Counterarguments for the Existence of God

posted February 9, 2009 - 12:08pm

Ten Amusing Counterarguments for the Existence of God

This is more of a tip of the hat to Rycharde Manne's humorous article, Ten Amusing Arguments for the Existence of God, than a line-by-line rebuttal of his arguments, so keep that in mind. Without getting involved in the actual God vs. No God debate, this is just my contribution to the discussion under the rules of debate.

I HAVE GEICO
(1) All of creation, from the tiniest organism to the highest mountain, happened by pure accident.
(2) I have insurance so I don't worry about accidents.
(3) God doesn't exist.

I'M OKAY, YOU'RE OKAY
(1) God goes by many names in many religions, which sounds like multiple personalities.
(2) I don't have any mental illnesses.
(3) Therefore, God doesn't exist.

THE GROUCHO MARX ARGUMENT
(1) I would never belong to a club that would have me as a member
(2) Christianity is always seeking to have me join their club
(3) Therefore, God doesn't exist.

UP WITH WOMEN
(1) The cross is a symbol of a male phallus and oppression of women throughout history.
(2) God doesn't exist

PAGING DR. FREUD
(1) The Godhead is the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost
(2) I have some serious father issues that are as yet unresolved
(3) God doesn't exist

PAGING DR. FREUD REDUX
(1) The Godhead is the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost
(2) I don't speak to my son anymore
(3) Therefore, God doesn't exist

SCOOBY DO AS DR. FREUD
(1) The Godhead is the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost
(2) Everyone knows the ghost is really a bad man with a sheet on his head.
(3) Therefore, God doesn't exist.

I'VE BEEN SUCKERED BY A TELEVANGELIST
(1) I sent my whole pension check to the nice young man on the TV who said that God would kill him if he didn't raise a gazillion dollars by next Friday.
(2) He is still on TV years later.
(3) Therefore, God doesn't exist.

THE CRAWFORD ARGUMENT
(1) George Bush said God told him to invade Iraq.
(2) Dick Cheney is not God.
(3) God does not exist.

THE HOW-HASN'T-IT-NOT-HAPPENED-BEFORE? ARGUMENT
(1) Simon Cowell is the smuggest S.O.B. who ever walked on two legs
(2) No disgruntled contestant on American Idol has every run up on him during the audition and done a "Rambo"
(3) God doesn't exist.

Author: jdubhub

Comments

Would that make this an "article of faith"?

jdubhub - Mon, 2009-9-2 2:58 pm

Thanks for the comments. I just used a few of the random things that popped into my head while reading your article last week. It's amazing what can come into creation with lots of caffeine in a short amount of time. LOL JOIN US IN TOASTING YOUR FUTURE SUCCESS!

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We could call this the

Rycharde Manne - Mon, 2009-9-2 2:41 pm

We could call this the Hitchhiker's Guide proof 1) God requires faith 2) I have none 3) Join Xomba Here

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In Short, "If You're Working for God, Why Hasn't He Fired You?"

mythman - Mon, 2009-9-2 2:26 pm

indeed, I would add TERMS OF EMPLOYMENT: 1) God Commands us all to 'do unto others as you would have them do unto you.' 2) People take-and-take and don't care what happens to the giver (for instance; this sentence took me 5 - 10 minutes to construct [looking for the right words, trying not to make it personal, etc.], but all you care is that it takes maybe 30 seconds to write and thus it is "only 30 seconds' work"). 3) Therefore, God does not exist. ---GET MONEY FREE for having fans ONLINE, writing about Buddhist Chant, Dr. Hot4Words, Time-Travel, Divine Art

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