10. Offer Cash Incentives

How else do you get a large group of complacent citizens to care about something they know nothing about? Offer them cash, prizes, and free food! Even if they don't know anything about the candidates or issues, how hard is it to complete a ballot? So, you voted for a candidate that was violently against Network Neutrality? No problem! Nobody needs to see what those porn sites, advertisements, and fruity liberals have to say anyway! Down with free speech!

9. Make Voting Mandatory

Why not? What's the worse that could happen? A President we all hate gets a majority of the votes? Well, hell! That's never happened! We survived one term of Bush. The jury's still out on the current one.

I mean, what's really so wrong with forcing people to vote? Look at it this way...from a non-voters point of view...

Okay, I'm a liberal. I think it's important for people to vote, because that's how this country is supposed to thrive. Maybe in your little closed mind you figure that since I'm the one that's aggressively campaigning for people to vote, that all pro-voters are liberals. Do you really want people like me to be in the majority?

Maybe it's a stretch, I don't know. I try not to think like an un-educated fool.

8.5 Hire Porn Stars To Work the Polls

Hey, who doesn't like to see a sexy woman with GGG breasts? Or, a buff dude with a 12 inch..

8. Online and Telephone Voting

It works for American Idol. Over 30 million people vote every week for that piece of crap.

7. Give Us More Interesting Candidates

Cartoon characters like George W. Bush and Al Gore do nothing for the American people. What we need is someone like Alice Cooper, Weird Al, or Rob Zombie in the Oval Office.

6. Or, Better Yet, Put No Confidence On the Ballot

Many countries leaders have been defeated by no confidence - Australia, Canada, France, Germany, India, Israel, Italy, Japan, New Zealand, Norway, Ukraine, United Kingdom, Vanuatu. If no confidence wins, then the current candidates lose and the elections start all over again. It might take awhile, but we'd eventually end up with a President that we could agree on. Voting for the lesser of two evils should never be an option.

5. "Lower the voting age to five."

Thank you, Jello Biafra!

Hey, why not? Set an example for our children by showing them how important having the right to vote is. Not everyone in this world has the same privileges we do. It's about time we start respecting that.

4. Ban Minorities From Voting

I'm not sure if this would work, but I think it's important to mention. If you tell me and all my female friends that it's against the law for us to vote, we're certainly going to start paying attention. Sometimes you have to shock or piss people off to get their attention.

3. Give Us More Options

Democrat. Republican. Democrat. Republican.

Wait a minute! There are more than two kinds of people in this country. Give us two and a half options, at least!

2. No Campaigning

The information that's been provided to us during campaigns is just a collection of lies. The only time you should get to infect our brains is during the public debates. And, as far as those debates are concerned, let the people ask the questions. No one goes home or to sleep until the candidates give an honest answer.

1. If They Won't Come To You, Go To Them

You can't really make it easier than that.