The biggest holiday is upon us once again…is it ever not upon us? With the wintry weather and good tidings with cheer comes the inevitable hassle of actually preparing for what is now revered as Christmas. One of these concerns is shopping; it starts somewhere right after Thanksgiving on a day aptly named Black Friday. At least this is when my family begins. Sales and bargains fill the stores from now until the last minute of the last night before Christmas.

This is well and good, but if you are smart you can find a myriad of good deals right here in the comfort of your own home, so purchasing is only as stressful as you make it. For me there is one dread that can never, and will never be fun on Christmas—hanging up the Christmas lights.

Now first off you must figure out the proper time to hang them. Go too early and the lights become a bother and an energy drain, but too late and it looks like you have no holiday spirit. The next pain in the long process is climbing up into the now subzero attic and trying to get that gigantic box down without killing yourself (and you tell yourself every year, “Man I need to get a smaller box). Now that you’ve finally succeeded in landing the behemoth on you chilly garage floor you open the lid to find that your careful wrapping and rolling that you did last year (Read, “Slinging and shoving”) has now become a near impossible tangled mess.

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So it’s time to actually hang the lights. The current fashion for lights is those nice white ones that dangle down a ways. These are simple, elegant, and not overbearing like those gaudy rainbow ones. Also, I’d suggest only hanging them were people actually see them. No need to hang when they won’t get any attention anyway. Use the extras to do something creative like wrapping a wreath or doorway.

Now, you’ve finally gathered up everything and all of it is in place. You grab your extension cord and plug it in…Nothing happens. There is of course a SINGLE bulb that’s burned out and it’s up to you to find it before New Years. So you spend the next two nights checking EVERY light until you realize, “Hey, weren’t these suppose to still work even though a light was burned out?” You check the box and sure enough, it’s not a single circuit so they should still work. You run over the cord, and then you see it, you never flipped the “On” switch. One quick click and a string of profanities later you end up with a beautifully lit house and ten years taken off your life.

Oh the joy of the holidays!

~Corbs