I have a confession to make. It is a tough thing to admit that you are doing something you probably shouldn’t. You face ridicule and you face rejection by friends or other who may be your peers. It is possible to me humiliated on public streets by admitting some things and scorn from those who don’t understand. So, by admitting what I am admitting tonight I hope all will appreciate what I am putting on the line. I feel a strong desire to be honest with everyone who reads my stuff and there is little in my life that is truly secret. I hope this will unburden my soul and I ask you to be merciful.

OK, here goes…

I watch “Grey’s Anatomy.” The real hell of it is…I ENJOY watching “Grey’s Anatomy.” I know, it’s a problem but they say admitting your problem is the first step and it is one I am hoping I am taking right now. I am willing and ready to turn in my “man” card and have my stripes taken from me.

Perhaps you have never watched this show. I am very willing to admit that the show is rather ridiculous. Never in the history of this or any world has any hospital been run the way this hospital is run in this television show. It’s supposed to be a medical drama about young surgical interns. I don’t know much about medical school but evidently you go through a period as a surgical student where you can sort of treat patients and then you basically stand around in the operating room and watch operations performed without doing them yourself. I guess.

The hospital is in Seattle. Beyond them telling you this the hospital could be in Kalamazoo for all the show ever cares because it’s not like they have scenes routinely at the base of the Space Needle. I haven’t even seen the group of young medical students visit that fish place yet. In fact, the entire layout of this hospital is completely incomprehensible. I have no idea where the front door is supposed to be in relation to the ER. It’s just a jumble of hallways, elevators, operating rooms, walkways and escalators. If they need a room that’s quiet and off the beaten path somewhere then a room that fits that bill routinely comes up.

The “Grey” in “Grey’s Anatomy” is the very gorgeous Meredith Grey who is played by my current television crush Ellen Pompeo. I had never heard of her before but apparently she was in movies like “Old School” and “Daredevil” so I must have seen her. She is a brunette and she narrates the show. She is in love with Patrick Dempsey who plays a surgeon everyone else calls “McDreamy.” Good Lord, did I just write the word “McDreamy?” Yes, I just checked and I just wrote it twice.

For some reason I am totally in love with Ellen Pompeo. She is also ridiculously thin and I would like to suggest she eat a cheeseburger or two but beyond that I think she is very hot. Therein lies one of the main reasons I watch this show.

Meredith is surrounded by others who are also interns and are, in turn, all gorgeous. I have spoken to a few women about this show and they all say the men are hot. I can only vouch as a heterosexual male that Sandra Oh and Katherine Heigl are also gorgeous. There are other supporting female characters who are all hot. Apparently every single nurse, doctor, intern and person affiliated with the medical community migrated to Seattle at some point and they all work at this hospital.

Apparently this hospital also gets only the most insane medical cases. Since I have been watching I have seen two people impaled by a metal pole who had to be removed. I also saw a guy show up in the ER with a tree right through his body. There was the couple who were having sex and the man’s piercing got caught on the woman’s IUD and they were stuck together. There was the little girl that was incapable of feeling any pain and the episode where a guy showed up with an unexploded bazooka shell stuck in his body. I guess in Seattle people don’t just get colds, get into car accidents or get mugged or break things. If I were the Seattle Chamber of Commerce I would suggest they promote the fact that once you live there you become indestructible unless you want to shove a tree through your torso.

This is a hospital where very little medical work is done. They interns and characters mostly sit around looking gorgeous and having sex with each other. Then they get together and talk about how they just had sex with each other. Some of them are divorced and some aren’t and regardless of their marital status they are still boinking the hell out of the gorgeous interns. Sometimes the interns are even busy boinking the hell out of the patients. When they aren’t killing them, that is.

The other thing about this show that seems very different from the other medical shows is the mortality rate. Patients die at this hospital at the rate of one a show which is really high for a television medical soap opera. If this were a real hospital I am very sure someone would be investigating to find out not only why so many patients are dying but why are so many of them showing up with weird medical issues. Maybe if the doctors weren’t so busy boinking the interns and the interns weren’t boinking the patients to death they would have more time to actually save some of these patients.

At the very least it would be understandable that I watched this mess if I were married. My dad watches this show. The benefit my dad has is that he is married to this woman that, for my entire life, I have known as my mother. So, if his studly manly friend were to suddenly burst into the house while the show was on he could, at the very least, say his wife was watching the show and he was sleeping in his chair. I have no excuse.

I blame the network. They re-ran the previous season during the summer. Since there was nothing on during the summer I wanted to watch I ended up watching the reruns of the one show I hadn’t watched before. So, I found myself watching this show and then I was hooked. Now I watch this show and I find myself caring about Meredith and McDreamy and McSteamy and the others and I end up tuning in every week.

I am going out to buy dresses next week, OK? Oh, like you don’t watch the O.C. or something! Don’t you? Oh, shut up and leave me alone!

Bryan W. Alaspa’s new novel Dust is now available for sale at his website www.bryanalaspa.com and www.amazon.com.