The Evil Within

I’m not sure if I’m ready to do this or not, but I’ve got a story to tell, and it’s time I get started. The difficulty is in knowing which parts to tell. I can see now why it's so daunting to sit down and write your life story. ‘Which parts do I put in, which parts do I leave out? Will anyone be interested in the things that I thought were so important? Or will it bore them? Will they care about the things that affected me so deeply? Or will they think I’m overreacting? And finally, will anyone really even care at all about my life story. I can almost hear you now: “Who do you think you are? Nobody is going to be interested in your life story! Your life story is much the same as anyone else’s, so what makes you think that WE are going to be interested in YOUR life?” That’s why I never even considered undertaking a project like this before now. But that was before...

Don’t panic!! This isn’t my WHOLE life story….it’s only the last 6 years of my life story. And when it comes right down to it, it isn’t my story at all. It’s my husband’s story…and I got caught up in it. I wish I could entice you to keep reading with words like: “Intrigue, mystery, romance at its best, lurid, steamy, and downright sexy”. Not that there wasn’t plenty of some of that, but the truth is, it’s a pretty plain old story, until the very end. And that’s when you realize it’s a story that everyone should read.

It’s a sad story…very sad, in that it ends in my husband’s DEATH. What happened to him could happen to you. You could be living this same story, and not even realize it. This is why it’s so important for me to tell it. It isn’t one of those stories about some fool that went out and got drunk and crashed his car into a tree. It’s far more insidious than that. He didn’t have the advantage that I’m giving you now, of someone pointing it out to him. He had to figure it out on his own. And when the realization came to him it was apocalyptic, an epiphany that drove him to change his entire life!!

He realized that he had things to share, things to warn others about, things that are changing the face of civilization as we know it. At first, he was passionate about telling as many people as he could. But eventually, he had to admit that this was bigger than him… He was just one man...and a simple man at that. He didn’t have writing skills, or any way to spread the word. All he could do was to try to save himself…and the lives of his son, and grandson…and the generations to come in his own family.

Had I known then, or understood it like I do now, I could have helped him. I could have done something…anything more than what I did. I might even have been able to SAVE him. But making conjectures like that don’t do any good now. They won’t bring him back. All I can do now is to tell you what happened. This is what he would have wanted me to do.

In all honesty, I’m doing this for selfish reasons too. I’m doing it for myself too. I’m so weary of reliving it, again and again, in my mind, that, sometimes, I just want to lie down, and go to be with him again. But I’m not one to swallow pills, or a bullet, although, I do wish I was at times. If not for my beliefs, I think I might have. But perhaps by telling it, I can be free of it. Perhaps by telling it, I can open someone else’s eyes, and make a difference in someone else’s life. And perhaps that will make a difference in mine as well.

This is our story….