The First Born

I waited for him for many years and now I cant believe that he'll be turning 9 this August.My first born son, is what I am talking about.
You see,I got married when I was 22, got my marriage annuled at the very young age of 27 but still my long time wish to have a baby wasn't granted. Well, maybe God thought that I wasn't ready yet. With all the pains and sufferings I've been through, a baby would be one good reason to ease my pains. But then, God would have already thought of many reasons why He didn't give me one yet. I know some of the reasons that's why I accepted His decision. Guess, one was to fix the problems first before giving me another challenge..

Time passed and after picking up the pieces, I met someone. This time, I really prayed hard to God that if He really thinks that I'm ready for a baby, I like this man to be the father of my child..married or not, I'd gladly accept whatever challenges He'll give me..

And so, he came..this little bundle of joy that I have waited for so long! And God didn't just granted my wish, He gave me the challenges that would make my life change.

During my pregnancy, I discovered a lot of things about the man i thought I will love forever. First, he was already married but separated, second, there were four, mind you, four other women, aside from me. I was the only one pregnant, but that didn't make things easy for me either. And so my struggles began, again, for the second time..

Months passed til I gave birth. This bundle of joy, was also to suffer because I made the wrong decisions. And the challenges began, for me and for my son.

My beloved son has HYDROCEPHALUS and SPINA BIFIDA. A condition where there is excess fluid in one of his brain's artery (hydrocephalus),and, a gap in his lower spinal column which caused an opening on his back and a fluid mass with some of his nerves in it. He needed an operation fast! So three days after he was born,they opened a part of his brain to insert a SHUNT - a thin tube to drain the excess fluid from the brain to his stomach. Imagine, the tube being inserted from the side of the head going thru the inner skin down to his tummy. They didn't remove the mass on his back yet, because that is another major operation, and a very dangerous one, that my baby might not make it if they proceed further. That was the first challenge.

He wasn't like a normal baby, of course.Due to the damage in his spinal column, my son's movements were restricted and limited, his developments were delayed. He started his physical and occupational therapies from one month old. He couldn't lift his head, move from side to side etc. Aside from that, I need to be very careful not to puncture the mass, because if that happens, the nerves would come out and be exposed to infection,the worst is he would become a vegetable for life! The Second challenge...

After 5 months, the mass needs to be removed. The third of the many challenges..As they were preparing him for surgery, I couldn't breathe..I was thinking of my precious one lying on his tummy in the cold hard bed. Wished I could be there, to hold his hand and comfort him. When it was all done, the doctors said he had two operations, the tube on his brain has to be reinserted because it was clogged. Imagine, 3 operations within 5 months of my son's new life.

When he was fully recovered, our lives started to be normal, in some ways. Although his physical developments was delayed, his mind was so busy studying the things and people around him. He's still physically not like the normal kids but mentally he's more than a normal kid. Guess God was somehow giving us a break from all the hardships and challenges.

Months passed and then he turned 1, and so the fourth challenge began. I had to make the right decision this time - to leave the father of my child and the man I loved. I couldn't let my son grow up with someone who couldn't love him wholly. We left the house and started our journey to a better life, just the two of us..

Many other challenges have come and gone. He's had 2 more surgeries. He can't pee or poops on his own..But, i could say that, in all of that, my son and I surpassed them all with flying colors, with God's help, of course.

As for my son, his journey through life won't be that easy. He's in fourth grade and can walk but with occasional stumbles. He'll be wearing diapers forever. He's a good target of bullies. There are learning disabilities manifesting but can be corrected. He might not have a kid of his own coz part of the nerve damaged was from waist down to his toes. The list can go on and on..

But then, life goes on for both of us..More challenges may come, but am pretty sure, that my son and I, will surpass it, no matter what it takes and no matter how long..