I remember the day my father passed away, it is still so clear to me. Every little detail I can remember down to what I was wearing and what I was doing when I got the call. It has been almost 7 years and everything still hangs onto my memory. They say dramatic things and happy things stay with us forever and I guess this falls under the dramatic. My dad was only 51 and I was 31. My parents had me when they were very young my mom was only 16 when she had me. I am now 38 and I still find myself wanting my parents at times. I also have two brothers one is 34 and then several years later my parents got a surprise and my youngest brother who is now 14 was born. He was only 7 when our dad died and he does not even remember him.
I must say I wish I was better writer because I would write a book just for my youngest brother all about our dad so he could know him better. I feel that he has missed out on knowing our dad who was a great man and I miss him daily. It is a pain that never really goes away. I think about him at least once a day and I feel that somehow he knows I think about him all the time.
The day my father died was tax refund day for me and my husband and two kids. It was not a lot of money that we got back but $2800.00 was enough to change our moods. My kids were still in elementary school and my husband works for himself as a house painter a trade he learned from my father. We were out shopping all day. This was during the time that I was selling a lot on ebay and always looking for other items to sell so when we got this money I wanted to find some great deals. So we were shopping around all day and in great moods. We even went grocery shopping and clothes shopping. Yes, we had some bills to pay but it is nice to have some fun once in a while.
That evening I was online doing my ebay stuff and at that time I had to use dial up Internet and could not use my phone during this time but my husband had a beeper. This was before cell phones became so huge. I remember the date March 24, 2000 and the time was around 9:30 pm and my husband’s beeper went off with my mom & dads number on it. It did not even enter my mind that it was an emergency and I was not ready for the call I was about to make back to my mom. I called her back on our house phone and all she said was “your dad had a heart attack and they don’t think he’s gonna make it” For a second I just sat there and I don’t know if it was shock or what but I just said “what hospital” and she told me.
Right after I hung up I felt my body go kind of limp and I told my husband what was going on and I even called my husbands dad to tell him because he was best friends with my father. In the confusion I was not sure if my mom said my dad or her dad who was also still alive. Not trying to be mean but I was hoping it was my grandfather and not my dad but I knew I was wrong. It seemed to take forever to get to the hospital and when we got there the ambulance was also just pulling up at the same time and so was my mom and little brother.
We went inside and asked in a hurried rush like a mob coming to the counter and asking “where is my father” “what’s going on” only to be taken into another room and waiting for only about 15 mins before the doctor came in and at first he just asked stupid questions, well in my opinion they were stupid im sure they were questions he had to ask but I was the dumb one that spoke up and said “is he still alive” when the doctor told me no. I felt so sick and I started hearing crying form my other family members but I didn’t cry. I just stood there and I heard my mom say “well im all alone now” I was a little angry that she said that at that time and now I feel stupid for being angry but I thought “why is she only caring about herself, my dad just died” now I realize how hard that was for her. My mom never worked she was a housewife for 33 years or more and my dad had no retirement he worked for himself they didn’t even have health insurance. I was raised this way and it was all I knew. After seeing my dad’s body it started to hit me that he was gone and I felt my whole body tingle and I even saw the doctor myself but they said I was going into a type of shock but I would be ok.
My father was my best friend and even as a teenager when I would fight with my mom all the time my dad was always there and we talked all the time. I come from a family of hunters and we used to hunt together all the time also. My dad trained my husband for the business we now run today. I’m sorry if any ant-hunters read this but I am a deer hunter and bird hunter. We would go every year and camp out all the time. My little brother has never been able to do this and I really want him to see and know how our father was.
My mom is doing great now, about 4 months after my dad died she got a job with the state and she still has it. She is making the house payments, raising my little brother and my other brother who moved back home with his kids and has become kind of a bum. She is taking care of all of them on her own and my dad would be proud of her. I would love to become a writer and get paid but I didn’t even finish high school. I am heading towards 40 my kids are almost raised but I still miss my dad everyday and I hope he can see all of us now and help the ones who need help. After 9-11 I got a new perspective, my dad was only one person and I miss him but on that day over 2000 people died and I felt so bad. How selfish for me to just grieve over one person. I even asked for forgiveness because I felt so selfish for feeling sorry for myself. I know it might sound stupid but there are kids that lost both parents on that day.
I just wanted to practice my writing and this is all true. My dad is gone and so much has happened since his death. If he were here he would be so shocked. Thanks for reading my story and if you are a professional writer I value any opinions. Thanks Irene Jerue