The Greatest Thing

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is to love and be loved in return!
-Moulin Rouge

Love.....the greatest topic ever explored in literary form poems....sonnets....songs....music.....art.....film....theatre....all have examined this thing called LOVE.

So....what is love to me?

It is a destination that I have sought much of my existence.

Is love defined by validation?

hugs.....kisses.....sweet and kind words......flowers....intimacy.

Are these the gauge in which I judge whether I am loved or not? Is that enough? When is it enough?

It has come to pass that my truth has led me to believe, that to allow myself to be loved....I must first love myself. For how can I accept the love of another, if I cannot accept the love for myself? This has been a difficult truth to face.

What does it mean to love me? Why do I feel that I am not worthy of even loving myself sometimes?

For me I think this journey began....at the day of birth......I was born into a family that did not know and have the emotional intelligence to give love either to themselves or to one another. I was never hugged......I was never kissed....I was never told....I LOVE YOU! I never learned that love was ok or what love meant. For I am the product of my environment and the sum of my experiences.

I have chosen to add to that equation a better understanding of emotional intelligence. I have chosen in that path to understand my emotions and how to integrate them, instead of ignoring them. In essence, I have been learning how to love....be loved....express love....accept love....and discern love. It is a most rewarding task.

From where I sit and my view from here, can I and do I love myself? My truth is mostly YES. I love my awareness of life and my surroundings. I love my quest for my truth. I love that I can have an impact on my life and those around me. I love that I view change and evolution as a never-ending process at realizing my fullest potential. I love that I believe in personal accountability for my actions, thoughts, emotions and soul. I love that my mistakes, I own and make the best of the lessons that I learn. I love that I am open to learning to love myself more and allowing myself to be loved by others. I love that I have been blessed with a man, Tim, who loves me despite myself.

All of this is a far improvement over where I was a year and a half ago......not loving myself at all and in fact feeling that my existence was a complete and utter burden and that I was never worthy of love. I am thrilled not to be in that place anymore. I also feel strong in my journey of developing better emotional intelligence and coping skills to ensure that I don't repeat that pattern in my life.

So I love myself.....which has enabled me to be loved.......Thanks Tim!

To Tim......

Many will not understand....the depth and breathe of us
But the naysayer’s do not live our lives, they observe from a distance

The gift you bring to my life is greater than any I have ever received....

Your kiss....your touch.....your compassion....your tears......your strong emotion.....your self discipline.....your life.... are all inspiring to my soul.

I know that we are meant to be.....because at the end of the day, I begin where you end and you begin where I end.....a complete circle of love, trust, belief and truth.

You challenge my skill....my emotion.....my thoughts....my soul.
You help me realize my fullest potential in a way that no one else has.

I know that our paths are intertwined, though they meander here and there......we never seem to lose sight of one another. Always conscious of keeping each others light burning bright.

This is what I promise of my love for you....

I promise to love myself so that you are able to love me...

I promise to be aware of your truth to enable mine.

I promise to walk carefully even when our paths are not on the same stones, but are of the same direction.

I promise to accept the things that make you you.....while accepting the thing that make me me.

I promise to love you completely with the depths of my soul....forever!

Engage in LOVE, YOURSELF, LIFE, TRUTH and ONE ANOTHER!