The Men Women Should Really Love

It’s an amazing thing how many hot women lie. I mean, I guess when they do those surveys about what kind of men women like, they don’t just look for the ultra-hot women who could all be supermodels. Then again, maybe they do. I know that no one ever asks me who I date. But I digress, the fact is, whatever women they are asking, they must be lying.

I guess none of the hot women of the world want to be considered shallow, even though all of us who are not in the world of the beautiful know that they are. We all are when you get down to it. Most of the human race really only cares about sex and we instinctively want to do that with the people we all find the most attractive. But in those surveys, when asked what they find the most attractive in men, they almost always seem to answer “a sense of humor.”

These are the same women you then see walking arm-in-arm with guys with washboard abs you could run spoons over as a kind of instrument, bulging biceps, sculpted legs, blonde hair and blue eyes. Often, a tan is involved. These are the kind of guys that Renaissance sculptors dreamt about when they were chiseling things out of stone. These are the same guys who think nothing about walking around Michigan Avenue in downtown Chicago with their shirts off, in flip flops and some kind of brightly colored Bermuda shorts.

They may be athletic, able to hit a softball very far or play hours and hours of beach volleyball, but the one thing these guys generally are not, is funny. Most of these men that I have run across (or attempted to run over…KIDDING!), think that AIDS jokes are funny and tend to call anyone that doesn’t agree with them “fag” as if it were the most brilliant and witty thing anyone had ever thought of before.

This is the problem with the hot women of the world. Far too many of them keep hooking up with these guys who, as it turns out, are as shallow as they actually are. Then, when it doesn’t work out, they have to wonder why it just isn’t working out. They then immediately go out and find another athletic and studly guy and the cycle starts all over again.

You see, ladies, you are making a mistake. See, these guys really don’t give a rip about you. Why? Because they know that all they need to do is walk down the street and before they get halfway to the end of the block they will have a parade of women, all of them panting, many of them drooling, following directly behind him. Like the Fonz only needed to snap his fingers for women to gather around him, this guy needs only shake his well-sculpted butt and the same thing will happen. In short, ladies, you are a dime a dozen to the studly athletic type and so, why should the expend any energy on you? It’s more important for them to look at themselves in the mirror, look at their hair and monitor and adjust their tanning schedules than actually treating you right or pleasing you.

This is why women need to fall in love with the geeky, quiet, unattractive types. Now, I have a personal stake in the matter, so I am going to suggest that they try out the portly, bearded, glasses-wearing writers from Chicago. Yes, it is true we are a very select group. Thinking back, I can only think of myself and Earnest Hemingway as falling into that particular category and Hemingway was a bit of a stud most of his life anyway.

Why should you, in your own mind, debase yourself by being seen with a guy you would normally look at as something you scraped off of your shoe? Well, think about it. This is probably a guy who doesn’t get much as far as women. More than likely, he NEVER has been with a woman as hot as you. As such, he has spent much of his life, thinking, fantasizing and planning exactly what he would do if he ever DID end up in a romantical, bedroom-type situation with a woman as hot as you. As such, you, my dear fair lady, are probably in for a night you will never forget.

This is a type who will focus all of his attention on you, not on his reflection in the mirror. At the same time, you will likely be able to wrap this guy around your little finger. These are the guys who have gone on to become internet millionaires and invent new technology. This means their brains are used to studying. More than likely they have also studied all of the techniques that would make you more than satisfied, be it in bed or on the street.

Sure, you may want to have him walk several paces, maybe even several blocks, behind you, but when it comes to those late nights, it’s the geeky, unattractive guy who is likely to leave you gasping for air. They are eager to please. They realize they may never get another attractive woman ever again, heck, may not even have a girl of any type in their bedroom for a long, long, loooooooonnnnnggg time. So, basically, they are going to anything and everything to please you anyway they can.

Meanwhile, the studly, athletic guy is busy calling everyone “dude” and wondering where the next party is. They know they could have a different woman every night of the week and could probably pull off two women at once. They have no vested interest.

Now, the geeky, portly, bearded, glasses-wearing writer, he’s going to use that creative brain to make you try and remember him long after you have moved on to the eight, ninth, even tenth studly, tanned, shirtless guy who has left you the next morning while you are left wondering why. Now, some of you may say I am bitter. This may be true and I am willing to admit it, but I also know I speak the truth.

The unattractive guy you ignore in favor of the surfer dude in the shorts, may be the memory you would remember for the rest of your life.

Bryan Alaspa is a featured writer for Xomba.com. Read the rest of his work here .