"Anyone who says that he can see through women is missing a lot"
-Groucho Marx

Preamble to the female intuition.

I decided to write this in dedication to all the female friends that I know and the ones that I don't know yet. They're different and they're all the same. I love them and despise them all equally. Men don't know a lot about women but we know what we don't like about women. Instead of chastising women about their perpetual chitter chatter, I will write about the mystery of female intuition. All of this is based on 33 years of observation and I still have more to go. Some of you might want me to write about sexual encounters and lesbian love nesting but I won't because I want to maintain this with simplicity. So if you're reading to see if I'm wrong or if I'm right than keep reading because I will do the best that I can.

"I don't like her". Any of you women out there have said this and many men have heard this from women. No proof of why just I don't like that bitch. This statement is a universal one amongst women. They can read women well and they can read men well too. "He's creepy". Any of you women out there have said this and many men have heard this from women. No proof of why just that guy is a creep. Why do they say those things? It's the instinct in them that's right. I recall a girl telling that this supervisor at work was kind of creepy. I didn't pay attention to her but a few months later that Supervisor sexually assaulted another woman. If they see a guy they've never met before they're drawn to him for some reason. She later finds out that this guy is a ladies man and her intuition to be drawn to him was correct because she likes him for the same reason why the other women do. What's that reason? They all want what everybody wants. I recall hearing Shannon Tweed talk about Gene Simmons and her comment solidified the mystery Female intuition. "Who wants a guy that nobody else wants".

Personally I believe that the best people to ask for advice are women. They're intuition is always right. They'll tell you what to wear, what to say and how to say it on a date. They'll say stuff off the cuff like she's a bitch or he's creepy or I just don't like her. They don't know anything and all of this is based on their intuition. A woman can tell within 1 minute of meeting a man if she's going to let him have sex with her. For men we have to work a little harder to get women to have sex with us. You ladies know it's true that if you want somebody you'll get him, regardless. Women read people well because they rely on their instincts like a dog relies on his nose. I remember I was with my sister and she was telling me about this lady that was hired by a former company she worked at. She had told her friend, the executive director to not hire her because she will bring the company down. 5 years later the company is defunct.

I remember going to a job interview with an older woman. She heard me talk for 30 seconds and immediately told me. "I'm not going to hire you because I would be wasting your time, you're on to bigger and better things". I told my mother about that and she said: "How did she know that". I simply shrugged my shoulders and replied. "Female intuition". You can never go wrong with it. I encourage more men to have friends with that one woman that you won't have sex with because it will ruin her intuitive powers she uses to advise you. Sex is a judgment clouder. It's hard for men to not want it from a woman but trust me if you want to maintain her powers of intuition in your favor guys: NO SEX.

The mystery of female intuition has been around long before I existed and will be here after. A lot of men can identify with this: You walk down the street and you get a smile from a woman. It's a mixed signal that you don't know what it is unless you ask her. A man will wonder about that kind of signal it is even though it's not a signal. A woman can justify that smile as so many things. Her smile can mean: nice jacket, cool sweater, my dog told me a joke I just remembered, there was something in my teeth, I like the man behind you, I was thinking about my boyfriends penis, and my lesbian lover is on my mind. Who knows what it means guys but don't waste too much time analyzing that kind of crap. It's a smile and just move on. Another thing that throws off guys is girls who admire them but don't say anything to the guy. Case and point. Daisy Fuentes of MTV Latino had a crush on Kurt Loder. She finally talks about it 10 years after she's not on the Network and after she got married. Kurt was like: "What, I wasn't aware of that".

That's right, Kurt you're a babe magnet. It's happened to me too. Women finally telling me after years that they were attracted to me but I was clueless. That's right ladies men are clueless and I'll tell you why. You're subtleties are not working for men. You have to just say it. "Michael I like you and I want to go out with you". It's hard for women to be like that because they want to be subtle and send signals. Smiling, fiddling with their hair, showing a little skin, but men are different creatures. You have to tell us what you want. Men will do it if you can just be a little more explicit and not turn this into an easter egg hunt. It's almost as if men have to act like women to get a woman and women have to act like men to get a man. Women might like a man to be subtle and just be ambiguous about it all. It's like you're not dating even though we've been married for 900 years. Is that the way a lot of you women want it?

The mystery of the female intuition lives on. Women are so sweet about it and when they say they don't know about it fellas, the truth is they do know. They just aren't telling me and you. Women want guys to figure out stuff like it's a jigsaw puzzle. "Here's my vagina now you figure out how to make me climax". Most men get lost and what do we do. Surrender, because the court of law will never be as correct as the female intuition. Believe it!