Femininity is not a word that we are encouraged to use these days. A lot of people would argue that it is one factor that keeps women obedient to men. However, there is a hidden assumption behind this term and that is, it comprises the physical and mental attributes associated with the female sex and are partly culturally determined. Some of these attributes can be traced to the female reproductive role. Others are rooted in the socialization of a girl's early development and adjusted throughout adulthood by picking up or reacting to societal cues. Feminine characteristics are sometimes expressed through female gender roles, which can vary between different societies and eras. I believe that women have something men do not have. We have rare qualities that distinguish us from men, and do not intend to suppress those special qualities because the world would be a much poorer place without feminism.

What does it mean to be a woman? What first came to my mind was stereotypical. Passive, dependent, altruistic, intuitive emotionally open, and impulsive. These are the opinions of being the ideal women in our society. In general, men have more power in the public places such as economic and political order, while women have more power in the private places such as domestic life and family. The society as a whole will be best if each sex does those tasks for which they are best suited for. As a matter of fact, men and women have biologically different capacities and interests (aggressiveness vs. maternal feelings, etc). Ideally in a family, men have power in making decisions and the women have control of managing the home. I had encountered to see the two different gender theories in our societies. These gender theories have their own values and beliefs that keep the men and the women different.

Firstly is feminity in men, as masculinity in women, is often considered to be negative due to its contradiction of traditional roles. However, this will vary by location and culture. One example is, the certain traits and behaviors in men, such as interest in fashion and grooming which are referred as feminine by social norms. The common stereotype of homosexual men is that they are effeminate, with perhaps even exaggerated feminine traits. While this is true of many homosexual men, there are many others who do not fit this description; gay men range from very feminine to very masculine. The effeminate gay man has gained wider acceptance in society, but there is some stigma, especially in certain populations or locations. Even in the gay community there are many who do not tolerate effeminate gay men, and believe that they are affected and represent the gay community in a negative way. In circumstances such as prison where men are segregated from women, a fraction of the population will nevertheless divide according to persistent female principles, either voluntarily or through coercion. An effeminate man exhibits what Carl Jung called the anima, the subconscious feminine psychological factors within all males. However, feminine traits that society finds admirable or at least views as neutral in women (such as "womanish tears") have traditionally been viewed more negatively when expressed by men.

Secondly is feminity in media where the notion of feminine beauty constantly changes, and ranges the spectrum between the ultra-feminine Gibson girl of the 1910s to the tomboyish flapper of the 1920s. Many women take their cues from film, television, or women's magazines. Most glossy periodicals usually feature a glamorous cover girl whose clothing, makeup and lifestyle sometimes represent the current state-of-the-art in beauty. Some radical feminists see the (sometimes airbrushed) standards of beauty presented in women's interest magazines as examples of sexual objectification. They may view these depicted standards as impossible for most women to actually meet, and these feminists criticize women's slavish devotion to meeting these standards as evidence of patriarchal oppression. Many have criticized the fashion and entertainment industries for promoting extremely thin and unhealthy body ideals. There are also many that disagree with this viewpoint, due to the fact in an age when women hold significant sway in the fashion community, aesthetic virtue and competing for attention are still positively co notated. They further argue that since women are the ones that are instinctually craving these beauty products, women are therefore the ones driving this yearn towards physical perfection, and not a patriarchal oppression conspiracy.

In Japan, women are considered to be gentle, modest, marry and take up housekeeping, support the entire family in any circumstances, and always graceful. One of the differences between two societies is the role of women at work. Japanese women who work at the firm are called Oeru (OL, which is the abbreviation of Office Lady). Their role in the company is occupied with routine businesses such as paper photocopying, serving green tea, go on an errand, cleaning up the desks, and throwing out the trash. This is the cultural norm of the Japanese society. Women are not assigned to do jobs that carry responsibilities and efforts. They are not considered to be liable for important tasks. Also, the role of women in the family is not considered to be important as men’s. Most of the families in Japan have very domineering husbands. Women do all the house works without the help from men. Women also do not have the control over money matters. On the other hand, the American culture considers women as equal to men. Women at work have their own offices, men and women share their roles in the family, and they both have control over money matter. Here in the Philippines, men and women are somehow treated equal in the modern society. Although there are still societies that follow and practice the traditional ways of having women stay at home and take care of her children instead of going to work and earn money. But as time ages, we learn to accept that women are needed to work as well as men. Maybe because of the economic crisis that our country is facing today, that’s workingwomen is a necessity in a family. One reason likewise, is that women are learning fast and more competitive in different fields.

Men and women’s societies have the several social norms that have been changing over the decades. Women’s role has changed. However, the image of women is somewhat typical and remains the same in a sense. I believe that men and women are fundamentally the same and that all differences are the result of conditioning. Each of us is an individual, of course. The point is that femininity is something real. It is not something cooked up by society. It is not a cultural or historical accident. It is part of what we are. It is what makes us women rather than men.

Written By: Jingky Lascuna