The open door. Keys still in the lock. Lights off. Stars glowing on the ceiling. Heat blasting. Reminds me of Florida nights. Ringing sirens in the distance, no choice to go to sleep. Thank you medication- for my recent anorexia, for not allowing me sleep, for making me sane?.. I open the window to let the room chill, to wake me from my daydreams of living yesturdays once more. My orchid died, irresponsibility mocks me in the mirror, laughter echos down the corridors of my mind. I feel I have "use me" written on my forehead for everyone to see but me, it wont wash away. Constantly playing the role of a victim with extremely lame dialouge. I lay on the cold floor as if it were a bed of flowers. Nothing phases me anymore, I live like a goldfish. Trapped, watched. Amuzing myself day in and out. Memories of a past life fade along with the pictures sitting on the sil, it's as if we had never met-were lovers in a dream I once had. I lay topless and greet a stranger while he's asleep with nothing but my presence. Go ahead, taunt me, haunt me, punish me, hate me. I take off my shoes, empty out the sand that remains, Like I'm finally letting it all go...