It pains me to post this since I live in Florida, but I found it on the Internet so it must be true.

The REAL facts about Football in the state of Florida !!!!

Why do FSU graduates hang their diplomas from the rearview mirror?
To justify their handicap parking.

Do you know why the Florida football team should change its
name to the "Opossums"?
Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.

Why doesn't Miami have ice on the sidelines?
The guy with the recipe graduated.

What do you get when you drive slowly by the FSU campus?
A degree.

What do you get when you breed a groundhog and a Florida
football player?
Six more weeks of bad football.

How many FSU freshmen does it take to change a light
bulb?
None, it's a second year course.

How do you get an Florida graduate off your porch?
Pay him for the pizza.

The FSU football team was placed in a remedial English
class. The professor asked the class, "Does anyone know what
comes after a sentence?" All of the players raised their hands.
"The appeal" they all shouted with pride.

What do you call a player from Miami in a three piece suit?
The defendant.

A Florida football player was almost killed in a tragic
horseback riding accident. He fell from the horse and was nearly trampled to death. Thank goodness the manager of the K-Mart came out and unplugged it.