The most ridiculous, but compulsively watchable, television show on the air these days is probably the show “24.” Once again jack Bauer is locked in mortal battle with terrorists bent on destroying the United States and he is doing so despite spending a lot of time in a Chinese prison. Jack Bauer, the man who screams more than Bobby Knight, and who continually holds the fate of the world in his scarred hands.

I love this show. Is it completely insane? You bet. Is it unrealistic in a way that pushes your dedication? Oh, yes, constantly. Is Jack Bauer the kind of guy you would actually want to work with? Oh no. He seems like the kind of person who would just have a problem carrying on a normal conversation with you. I imagine a day-to-day conversation with Jack would go something like this:

ME: Hi, Jack, how was your weekend?

JACK(screaming, neck muscles straining): FINE!!!! I WENT TO A BALL GAME!!!!!

(Jack’s eyes move left and right and he leans in close)

JACK (whispering): How was yours?

He would probably then shoot you in the kneecaps. Jack is just the kind of guy who manages to bounce back. For crying out loud, they actually killed him (TWICE) and he bounces back to life somehow. He has also managed to anger the countries of China and Germany over the past couple of seasons. He lost his wife in the first season and now his daughter won’t speak to him. His mentor betrayed last season and that was also the season the show writers killed of the lovable oaf Edgar. They also killed off a former president and several other older and beloved characters.

This season the conspiracy seems deceptively simple at first. This time we have a much more personal story involving Jack and his family. As usual the plot is already showing signs that it is much more complicated and convoluted than actually practical for any terrorist organization no matter how resourceful that organization may be. The conspiracies on this show are so complex and twisting that even the most ardent conspiracy theorist would watch this show and shout “Yeah right!” All I know is that there are now a few constants that you can expect every season on “24.”

1. Someone on the inside will always end up being a traitor. In the first few seasons it was the president’s wife. This time you think it may be one of this aides and then it may be the aide of this particular aide.

2. Everywhere anyone needs to go will always be ten minutes away. I think this is done because of the one hour equals one hour and the whole season is one day format. Still, considering they are in L.A. it is amazing that everything is ten minutes away.

3. Someone close to Jack Bauer will die. His first season ended with his wife dying. It’s pretty much been downhill from there.

4. The initial plot will just be the cover for a much more elaborate and intricate plot that will, not always, make sense by the end of the season. Somewhere along the way it doesn’t really matter. The whole idea is to watch Jack run around and for things to blow up. This season they are blowing things up with suitcase-sized nuclear weapons

5. Whenever Jack Bauer goes off somewhere with an anonymous CTU Agent next to him, this person will die. This anonymous guy has become the modern-day equivalent of the red-shirted guy from the old “Star Trek” television show.

6. Jack will always end up flying a helicopter. Sometimes he also flies a plane. Whatever it is somehow Jack always ends up flying something. He has yet to do it this time around but it seems only inevitable that he will be flying something up to a Stealth bomber before the season is over.

This season finale will probably end quite a bang. There is always a little bit of a disappointment whenever the season of this show ends. Last season was very anticlimactic as I recall. Last season started strong and carried that suspense throughout but the big climax between Jack and the evil President never quite panned out. This season the villains villainous but somehow they aren’t quite as evil as the President Logan from last season. Then they bring Logan back this season and he’s supposedly good.

Last season had Peter Weller as one of the bad guys. Not long ago, I saw a special on the History Channel about ancient Rome and Peter Weller was on there and listed as a professor at some university and not as an actor. It was nice to see RoboCop working again. He makes a great villain.

Of course, last season there were also Russian rebels involved and then that guy who used to play the weasely doctor on “ER” who got is arm chopped off as well. Then he shows up again this season and it turns out he is Jack’s brother and he is even more deeply involved than we thought. Then “Babe’s” owner, James Cromwell, shows up at Jack’s father. All we need is a sister and a few cousins for an entire Bauer family reunion.

Thankfully, the character known as Kim, Jack’s daughter, has not made even the slightest indication that she will appear this season. It is amazing how many beloved characters they kill off during a season on this show but the one character all fans universally dislike is still alive and kicking and was boinking C. Thomas Howell last season. It was nice to see him working again too, by the way.

This show is just crazy. I love every crazy, insane moment of it. I look forward to this seasons’ finale. Despite the anti-climax I am sure it will still be pulse-pounding and keep me on the edge of my seat. I’ll be tuned in.

Bryan W. Alaspa’s novel Dust is available in print and eBook format at his website www.bryanalaspa.comand www.amazon.com.