Non-Fiction by Mia

I’ve come to realize these past few weeks that there is no difference between a dentist and a car mechanic.

As luck would have it, I am in the middle of two root canals, which should be finished by this Friday afternoon. What a great weekend I’ll have! At the same time, the clutch on my Mitsubishi is sticking and giving me trouble. Since I only have one car and one set of teeth, I am going to do my best to take care of both problems.

So, I’ve spent a good deal of time these last few weeks dealing with two men whom I normally don’t see often. I would get them mixed up if one wasn’t always wearing a white overcoat and the other one in blue overalls.

Seriously, here are some sound bytes from recent conversations I’ve had with my dentist and my mechanic. In some freaky time-space continuum warp-like thing, I’ve had identical conversations with each one. Here are some examples:

Both front desk persons state: “The (dentist/mechanic) is running behind. Can you please take a seat in the waiting room?” Yep, both places have old magazines.

The dentist and mechanic both ask: “How long have you had this problem?”

The usual next statement from both of them is: “I think with some work we can save it.”

They both say at different points in the process: “This is going to hurt a bit.”

Then the big blow from each: “It’s going to be about $700.”

Inevitably, their next line is: “It would have been cheaper and an easier fix had you come in sooner.”

See what I mean? You can’t tell them apart. I strongly suggest that the two professions combine for the convenience of the customers. Think of the neon sign outside:

Oil Change = $19.95. Get Your Teeth Cleaned While You Wait!