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The skinny on being thin

posted August 20, 2006 - 9:00pm
The skinny on being thin

I'm going to illicit little sympathy from this rant. But it is something I need to get off of my chest. It is an issue that vexes me on a consistent basis and quite frankly, I am hurt and appalled by some people's lack of discetion on this topic.

I am a skinny chick. Don't get me wrong - I am not Nicole Richie skinny. Maybe more along the lines of Paris Hilton. But I am the skinniest of all my friends and skinnier than the general population. Definitely not emaciated, though.

People see this and think it is perfectly okay to say downright scathing things to me. Let me give you examples of comments that have been thrown at me. And please keep in mind that some of these are from total strangers:

"You are so skinny it is disgusting."

"Do you eat?"

"Are you anorexic?"

"I used to look like you when I was your age. Then I had kids." (thanks)

"Were you just throwing up?" (after returning from the bathroom in a restaurant)

"Oh let's see what skinny people eat." (stranger in the grocery store)

"You are too skinny."

Why do people think this is okay? It is rude, way out of line and hurtful. And people try to cover up their comments by saying they are "concerned". I'M NOT NEAR DEATH. Or even close. And if it were the opposite and I were, say 10 or 20 pounds overweight, nobody would be so "concerned" about my health.
I will admit, I have issues with my body and body image. Why? Because of the CONSTANT scrutiny. I am always being judged against what I look like. Does that mean I have an eating disorder? No. Could it ever turn into one? Maybe. So I wish people would mind their own business and focus on what THEY are eating and perhaps leave thin people alone.

Let's look at it from another perspective. We live in a society where more than 60% of the world's population is now overweight. Scary, right? Obesity has now replaced starvation. So just imagine all of the above mentioned statements in reverse, aimed at someone who is overweight. Look:

"You are so fat it is disgusting."

"Do you eat too much?"

"Are you morbidly obese?"

"I used to look like you until I had gastric bypass surgery."

"Were you just binge eating?"

"Hmmmm, let's see what fat people eat."

"You are too fat."

See how hurtful the statements are? People don't realize how words can be so detrimental.

I really feel for Nicole Richie. She is under constant surveillance and accusation and honestly, the story is getting old and tired. Recently, she had a run in with a photographer who said to her "You look disgusting, Nicole. Gain some weight."

How mean is that? Granted, she is unhealthily skinny. I'll admit it. But the poor girl vehemently denies having an eating disorder, blaming her drastic weight loss on stress. I can happen. It happened to me. Sometimes it is not intentional. And yet she is still hounded on a daily basis.

Why can't people just mind their own business? Concern yourself with your own health and you own appearance (if appearance is so important to you)and let the skinny chicks be.

Keep this in mind: If you wouldn't say it to a fat person, don't say it to a skinny person.

Author: Cara Gundersen
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Comments

on being "too skinny!"

alynne33 - Sun, 2007-8-7 3:00 am
Okay, here goes: I completely agree with readers' comments on how it is "way out of line" for these so-called people who feel the need to infect you with their unwanted opinion about a person's weight. We see it all the time in the media: this celeb is too skinny, that celeb is too fat! Who the hell cares? Don't people have enough to focus on in their own lives without really giving a crap who is "too skinny" out there? I mean...really, people, come on! I've been skinny since birth. I'm 33 years old, 5'5, and have always weighed between 108 and 112 pounds. I don't throw up in the bathroom or restrict my diet to lettuce and water. I actually eat real people food like everybody else. I've never been the type to flaunt my skinniness or strut around like I'm the cat's meow just because I can fit into a size zero. The truth is, I've always been insecure about my weight simply because of the ruthless and neverending comments I hear daily about being "too skinny," - comments usually made by one who is standing in front of me and overweight. Let me set something straight: It is NEVER okay to comment on someone's weight unless asked, or unless it's meant as a compliment. Who do these people think that they are? If I were to turn around to one of these people who have maliciously made these comments and, in turn, replied that they might be too fat, these people would most likely turn away in a huff, all the while accusing me of being mean. Are you serious? People are mean when they feel threatened. That is a fact. I honestly believe that people say these things so you end up feeling gross about the way you look so you don't view THEM as overweight or unattractive. The truth is, the society we live in simply makes it hard for anyone to really be happy with their weight. So, all you people out there who seem to think that skinny people are insensitive to such rude comments, just consider this: the smart ones like myself see your opinions as just a veil under which you try to mask your own unhappiness behind. And, as much as these comments piss me off and often leave me perplexed, I will never retort by commenting on how maybe you could use a diet of your own. I will walk away the better person, understanding how your comments are often underpinned by your insecurity about your OWN weight. Skinny people, fat people...we are all beautiful to someone out there.

My mother is naturally a

Sue Stone - Tue, 2006-3-10 4:54 pm
My mother is naturally a petite person and I get so mad when people say things like, are you sick? I don't know, maybe I have a malfunction but I would LOVE it if someone told me I was too skinny. I have been fat all my life and have heard mean things said to me, mostly behind my back. I try to be funny and laugh it off but face it my problem and your problem are NOT the same. I would prefer to be called a waif or be told I need to eat something then to feel guilty for every bite I take when peopel are watching. And you know that you would never trade places with me. I would trade places with you and take the thin bashing over the fat bashing but no one would ever switch thin baching for fat bashing. I mean which would you prefer? Oh, honey, you need to eat something. or Are you SURE you want a meal AND an appetizer? Is that ALL you're eating? or You are gonna eat ALL that??? All I'm saying is that if someone asked me the top questions I would proudly declare YES! And it would probably be followed by the other person's response being "Wow, I wish I could eat like that, I feel like a pig now." The bottom two I get all the time and it is very hard to say Yes with pride in both those cases. Yes is usually followed by an "okay" filled with disgust. --Sue

I can not even begin to tell

Kristin O. - Thu, 2006-31-8 11:22 pm
I can not even begin to tell you how much this hits home. For the longest time I could not gain weight...no matter what. I was 5'7" and 110lbs. People said the RUDEST things to me and I could never understand why they thought it was alright to do so. Even now it continues in the most frustrating of ways. It has been 6 months since I had my daughter and I thought I might not hear so many comments for a while, seeing as how I had a bunch of "baby weight" to lose. Well. Two months after having her I started hearing things such as "Wow it's only been two months and you're skinnier than I am...and I was never pregnant!" "What are you not eating or something?" "Are you planning on being the same weight you were before you became pregnant" "You should not lose to much...you'll look sick again." What am I supposed to say to such things? I don't mean to come across as a bitch, I know most women would love to lose baby weight rather quickly, but even comments such as those make me squirm. Truth be told, I have always liked being thin. It is one aspect of my life that I could always maintain control over. Never-the-less, I still do not believe that people have the right to question me about it. I would never think to ask any of them about their $75,000 debt/love of S&M/venereal disease, etc.

re: the skinny on being thin

Kenda Bell - Mon, 2006-21-8 1:27 am

I feel your pain. I am 36 and still a size 2 ...4 on a good day. I have been thin all my life and desperately want to gain weight. As an african aerican woman, having a more full volumptous body is culturally more estetic to men of my race and lack of the booty makes me feel awkward. Finally..some one understands... and Monique..skinny women are not evil!!!!

Thank you for beinging more

Nikitabanana - Sun, 2006-20-8 10:10 pm

Thank you for beinging more light to this. You are one of the many lucky people who are naturaly thin and it's just as rude to make remarks to you as it is to an overweight person. Or to anyone for that matter. Where do people get off thinking they can opening comment on other people's lives? If your opinion is solicited then fine, otherwise keep your trap shut. =)

It's a shame you don't taste the world I taste. Everything's sugar laced.

It's a shame you don't taste the world I taste. Everything's sugar laced.

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