Everyone has heard of the "terrible twos", right? For many first time parents, this name can be a terrible misomer. Imagine my shock when my first child started throwing screaming tantrums at 15 months! Many of the parenting tips and guidelines given to parents regarding how to deal with tantrums seem angled towards the understanding levels of children two and up, while leaving tactics for dealing with 12-24 month olds out of it entirely. So how can you calm down a screaming, upset, kicking, and hyperventilating 12-24 month?
Children this young won't respond to the traditional "let them calm down and then reason with them" approach. Have you ever heard of a 13-month old child capable of that sort of reason? There are many ways to get your tantrumming child to calm down, and you'll likely have to try them all before you find something that works consistently. Some children do best when held gently but firmly by a parent, perhaps murmuring soothing words and sounds, until they calm themselves down. This may help them feel secure enough to end the tantrum. Other toddlers definately need their space, and any attempt from a parent to communicate will be met be an increase in volume. In this case you may find it helpful to put the child in a safe and secure location, such as their bedroom or their crib, and give them some time to just scream out their frustration. Children between the ages of 1 and 2 years have a difficult time expressing themselves with their limited vocabulary, and so often anger and frustration come out as tantrums. Keep in mind that putting a child in a safe place to vent their emotions without injury to yourself, themselves, or any object is not cruel. It may be hard to listen to their cries, but no progress can be made until the tantrum has ended, and the tantrum won't end until you toddler has calmed down. Tantrums are when a child has literally lost control of themselves, and aren't a deliberate act, so even if you feel angry or put-upon by the sometimes relentless screaming, try not to lose your temper. Kids learn what they see, so if they see mommy or daddy using words instead of screaming to express themselves, they are more likely to follow suit, and seeing a calm, loving, firm parent will help them to calm themselves. And NEVER, EVER give your child what they want so that the tantrum will end. It may stop the fuss in the short run, but it sets the stage for the next tantrum. Doing this teaches the toddler that if they throw a tantrum, they will get what they want, and so they next time they want something they can't have they are more likely to try the tantrum if it has worked before.
In a public place? Quickly and quietly remove your toddler, whether it be to the car, or just outside, so that they aren't disrupting others and have the opportunity to calm down without a lot of extra attention. Don't worry about leaving a shopping cart full of groceries behind; you can always go back for them when your toddler has calmed down.