After sitting through another viewing of the movie How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days, my mind could not help but run through how this movie might go in reverse. For those that have not seen the movie, it is about all the things that a woman does to drive a man away.

Not to be outdone, we men have some pretty quirky habits ourselves. What better opportunity to list the top ten things that men can do to lose his woman?

10. Ask her to get a breast enlargement -- As a man I am more than aware of the allure of breasts, and they can make a man absolutely mental. When a woman is blessed in the upper regions, a man is going to notice. This is just the way it is. Women know it, and men deny it, but it is true. If you are insane enough to ask your woman to change what the good Lord gave her, be prepared for the reaction. There will be blood and lots of it.

9. Spend Saturdays with your truck/car -- Let's see....Sundays are for football and church. Monday through Friday is work. Saturdays are open for me to love my car/truck all day long. I can clean the ridges behind the ashtray, clean the underside of my bucket seats, wipe down the trunk liner, buff the chrome on my radio knob.....MORON! Get a clue.

8. Make plans for your woman without telling her -- This can go both ways. If you are attending a romantic dinner on the lake, that is one thing. If your night out includes monster trucks it is usually quite another.

7. Remind your woman that she gained five pounds...just once -- Ah, the gift that keeps on giving. Mention anything about weight up or down and you will either never see her again, or be talking about it through your false teeth at ninety.

6. Pick your nose on a date -- Why does a man simply have to grab that booger right when the food comes? We are very primitive, and lonely creatures.

5. Tell your woman that she reminds you of your high school sweetheart -- If you dated them in the past, lose all of your memories before moving on. At the least, learn to bite your lip really hard every time you want to say "you remind me of..."

4. Pee repeatedly on the toilet seat and leave it there -- Ladies, we enjoy writing our name in the snow with our pee. Did you really expect more?

3. Cheat on a modern woman -- The days of crying into their embroidered hankies are over lads. They will shoot you now. Be a real man, and be happy with your good woman. They are hard to find.

2. Quote Walker Texas Ranger for your romantic speeches -- I actually know a guy that did this once. He figured that he trusted Chuck with his fighting....

And the number one way to lose your woman is:

1. Call your woman any name other than her own -- Dude, if you can not remember her name, you do not deserve her.