The folder was an ordinary looking folder. It was yellow, unmarked, and even new looking. If it wasn’t for the fact that it unmistakably had something inside it, you might even say unused. But, because there was something definitely inside, it was undoubtedly a used folder.

Now, you might ask, what is so interesting about this used folder? Is it because it is yellow? Is it because it is unmarked? Is it because it is new looking? No, not really. Well, maybe a little bit. Yellow does tend to attract attention.

Then what is so special about this used, yellow, unmarked, new looking folder? Well this isn’t any ordinary used, yellow, unmarked, new looking folder. This folder was a Space Binder 6000 patent pending no. J2710396-26197-B4. Well, a used, yellow unmarked, new looking Space binder 6000. That wasn’t all that was special about it. No. There was the sheet of paper inside responsible for making this beautiful Space binder 6000 used.

What was the sheet of paper? Exactly that, a sheet of paper. However, there was writing on it. What did it say? Nobody knows. All we have is a picture of the folder with the corner of the sheet of paper sticking out. We don't know why our spy didn’t open the folder to look inside. It was a fine looking folder though.

Our spy sent this picture with a note explaining that the folder was a Space Binder 6000. He was never heard from again. Being from the planet Bic, he wasn’t much of a writer. He was clean-shaven individual though. We fear he is dead.

The mystery still remained about the used, yellow, unmarked, new looking Space binder 6000. And of course the paper inside. We, that is the High Council and I, the Chairman For Life And A Little Bit After That, decided to send a new spy to find this folder and bring it to us. Only God knows what is written on the sheet inside. But our God-to-mortal receiver has been on the fritz and communication was lacking. Our top engineers are working around the clock.

Which is why our receiver is still on the fritz. Our engineers are too concerned with that damn clock to talk with God. I guess it is just a matter of priority.

Anyway, our new spy to be sent is number 283A-47Q. He prefers to be called Jack though. And to be perfectly honest, Jack is much easier to pronounce. That and there are so few nowadays called Jack that you can call his name from across the room not get a dozen people looking at you wondering who the hell you are and why you are calling their name.

Jack is a native of the planet Mead. It is a little known planet that deals exclusively in folders. Jack is considered an expert. The folder makers of Mead were working on a prototype space binder when the blueprints were stolen. Before Mead could get their model on the market, the Space Binder 6000 was already in stores everywhere. We were afraid Jack might take this mission a little personally. You see, his father was hired as a factory worker for the prototype space binder on Mead. He and thousands of others were laid off and had to find work elsewhere. This started the folder famine on Mead and Jack’s family suffered miserably.

There were a few families that suffered wonderfully. But for the most part, everyone was miserable. Jack joined the Federation of Free Sodas when he turned sixteen. He started as a Soda soldier and was quickly promoted to Soda Soldier Sergeant. We at the Headquarters of the FFS recognized his abilities and trained him as a spy.

Jack spent almost ten years on Caffeine searching for the underground rebel group that called themselves Caffeine Free. Jack found them to be a lot of boring people that complained a lot and chewed sugarless gum. He concluded nothing would come of the rebellion.

When he returns he will be assigned to the planet Teevee. That is where the used, yellow, unmarked, new looking Space Binder 6000 with the sheet of paper inside is located. His job will be to retrieve this important folder and bring it to us. That document could very well end the Cola Wars and allow free sodas for all.

This piece of paper, and subsequently the folder containing it, may very well be the most important objects in the known Whatever. The President of Teevee, a Demopublican, misplaced them during a press conference in which he announced his intentions to change Channels. The Repubrocrat Channel was all for the change. The Demopublican Channel flustered and blustered about the injustices of fruit flavored colas and the consequences of the change. The Weather Channel reported a bleak outlook and nobody knows what the Nature Channel is up to. We fear this may lead to the mixing of Vanilla with various fruity colas.

Needless to say, when such an important political figure that controls the government of the most powerful and influential planet in the known Whatever changes Channels, there will be much upheaval. Already the sixth incarnation of Jon Stewart has started interviewing people of political influence no one has ever heard of and shunned popular rich people. We think he is trying to educate the public.

This cannot be allowed. Thus, we must get to the bottom of this inexplicable Channel change and return Teevee to its regularly scheduled program.