Thoughts from Today, September 29, 2008

Paul Newman, Dead at 83. And, as, I thought about Paul Newman, I thought about my closest eight friends. Ed died in 1978, Lon died in 1988, Mike died in 1999, Frog died in 2003, Bret died in 2003, Butch died in 2005, Julie died in 2006, Louie died in 2007, Angel died in 2007, Tom, my dearest and best friend died in 2007.

And, people always think I'm kidding when I say, “all my friends are dead.” It takes more than a minute, more than a day, more than a year, to create an enduring friendship. And, yes, there are new friends, but, I wonder about the “time-factor,” which will take these new friendships to become enduring?

I didn't use to think about the time-factor. It wasn't until last March I began to realize anything about the time-factor and friendships. I had to move to a new place. As I packed things up I figured moving would be no-problem. When it came time to rent a truck I looked through my little book with all my contacts (friends) in it. As, I scrolled down the list, one-by-one, I crossed out those that were dead. And, when I got to the bottom of the page I had crossed every person on the list out. Each and every one of my beloved people were dead. There was no one to call. I had to hire someone to help me move.

I have three cell phones. They never ring. There's never a voicemail. The time-factor has, finally, for me, raised its ugly head. First, my friends went. And, now, thinking about Paul Newman, the culture, which empowered me, is vanishing in the same way as “summer gives way to autumn.” Change and the world changes with you. Don't change, and it will change anyway. I am a believer in the need-to-make-change. I try, every day, to initiate change. Although, in the actual initiation of change, it is hard, I know if I don't embrace new concepts and ideas, I'll be stuck in time, forever, gone by. In the late 1990s, I emersed myself in the computer technologies, and, since, have been able to advance and remain on-track with the new. It the 1980s, and up-to today, I have continually stayed in-touch with a changing music scene. Music is one of the energies, which drives all cultures. The baby-boomers embraced their music, and, so, have the generations, X, Y, etc.

By continuing to embrace new music I have been able to move amongst the generations easier, than those who failed to make “change” in music. My 10-year endeavor of getting a college degree has produced an entended ticket-to-ride. And, with an extended ticket-to-ride, I have been able to hold my thoughts, hopes and dreams as priorities, still, as, fresh and viable, as ever, as I arrived on the frontier of a brand new century.

I use to dream about what would I, and, my great friends all be doing in the 21st Century? Well, it turned out that in the long-run we won't be doing anything. All my friends are dead. If the lack of companionship was the only down-turn, I could overcome it.

I still make the joke, “I removed all the mirrors from my house when I turned 50.” Why? Mirrors don't produce the image we see of ourselves, forever. Mirrors begin to fail us at some point, not producing the bright, clear, image we expect. (I wonder why no one has created a mirror which can be fine-tuned, one, which could be adjusted to produce the image-energies we believe to be true?)

I can control the image, the verticle, the horizontal, the education, the drive to embrace the “new.” The ugly-headed “time-factor,” is a vicious beast. I can't control the beast. I want to be able to use to its fullest my extended “ticket-to-ride,” with all my hopes, and dreams and ideas, but, my vessel used to empower the ride is showing that of a vessel long battered.

The word “retire” has never even crossed my mind, until recently. You can't listen to the radio, read a publication, cruise the Internet, and watch TV, without hearing about the baby-boomers retiring. Most, following the end of the Viet-Nam War, abandoned the idea to change the world, and found it easier to repeat history, than to change it forever. I never embraced their new philosophy of ME over that of changing the world.

When I was still in school, way back in the 1960s, the call was already loud, get off the oil bandwagon. The years Jimmy Carter was President (1977-81), the call became even louder, new alternative energies, smaller vehicles, energy efficient America. The warning about the disease called OIL, is at least 40 years old. What the hell has America been doing for F-O-R-T-Y Y-E-A-R-S ?????

My people, your people, the American people became addicted to sugary-treats, oil, money, greed. Scheems to make more money, and it has not mattered how we filled our wallets, just, as, long as we filled them. While other countries were making advancements to create a better future, in things such as, education, government, agriculture, and medicine, America has been too preoccupied with making money. America graduates about 70,000 math and science majors each year. China graduates about 700,000 each year, and India, 400,000. Our educational system has been one discourage, rather than encourage. We are a nation, or, better, yet, a people, which passes the buck. “Don't worry someone else will deal with it. How much money did we make today?”

We are, so, chained and shackled the the deeds and practices of the 20th Century, not to mention, the thoughts (which we need to get over) that people (Europe) still owe us for saving them in World War II.

Just because someone helped you doesn't mean you owe them for the rest of your life, World War II, in the general mindset of those alive today, ended almost 100 years ago. (yea, its really only a little over 60, but 60 years, well, the debt should have already been paid anyway.) When a century-mark occurs, all the things in the past-century just have a feel to be more a hundred years, than the actual length of time.

Getting back to the mirrors, they reflect a current live-image, and it is my current live-image which has begun to slow my advance onto the frontier of the 21st Century. I don't fit in to the freshness of the culture, the new culture, and hopefully surviving culture which will drive this nation favorably , amongst the nations of the world, and planet, far into the new frontier. I, as, much, as I hate it, stand out in the crowd, as, a relic of a bygone era. Little do they know, I never bought into the business-as-usual practices of the bygone era. And, so, with the clock ticking, and having had to wait (49 years), so, long, to get to where I needed to start, the opening of the frontier of this brand new century, retirement is absolutely unacceptable. Gosh, I just got out the front door, and people are yelling retire. I don't think so.

So, there's my big thoughts of the day. I thought I'd share them. Oh, yea, one more thing, this $700 billion dollar bail-out; I say no. Let them bastards crawl. We, as the American taxpayer, the same people who have been spit on, refused money to better ourselves, have had our credit ruined for not paying a check charge, had our homes foreclosed, just to name a few things, those high and mighty financial people, and institutions, they all need to jump out of high rise windows, loose all of the ill-got wealth, the wealth they made while breaking others' backs, and crawl like the worms they are. I say, NO BAIL OUT!

I wish all my readers a wonderful day.