Do you remember the times when we ran outside in the rough semi covered ground with grass, chasing one another playing Tag or Hide and Go Seek? Remember that "my" favorite one was Hide and Go Seek? Do you remember when we played on the hot asphalt in the streets? Do you remember how I always wanted to be the, All Time Quarterback? How about the time when I told you that I was ok and that no matter what happened I would keep my head up?
Well.... I'm telling you right now I tried.....I'm still trying. But the time I've spent going around finding my way, looking for that something, or that someone that will take my time away, to help me, to inspire me, and even to hold me a tell me that it will be ok.
I'm tired of doing it on my own, falling and not a soul to lend a hand to help. I'm tired of helping and not getting help back!.......I'm tired! tired of smiling! tired of holding this mask on my face showing a smile and a happy glare that motivates, inspires, and helps a nother. I need help to help myself, and I'm tired of doing it on my own. I'm tired of telling myself that it will be ok.
Every time I spend my time infront of a blank piece of paper and a pencil or a pen, I release my worries, my time, and my emotions, they make my time and my feeling have a numbness, it stops for a moment, not having to worry about how the next bill is going to get paid, or how I can continue holding the smile in place. I tend to express myself and let myself go, and it allows me to go a day more.
One day the smile I hold on my face, will one day be a real smile and not a fake stare!