Top 10 List of Pointless Lists

If you want to write a really boring article that takes no brain power, has no literary merit and is sure to get readers, then scribbling down "Top 10..." is a great start.

You don't even have to make them up yourself as the internet is awash with "Top 10 ways to stop being ugly", "Top 100 films you wish you'd never watched", "Top 10 Shop-lifting items you can't live without."

All you need to do is search for them, copy them, and if you're feeling a tad guilty about copyright just change the order. The order is absolutely not important anyway - what is important is to leave out something you know people expect to be there. If the list looks too good then nobody can leave a comment to complain that their life has been made so terribly miserable because you have left out their favourite cartoon character or ice-cream flavour or designer jeans.

So here's a list of the most pointless lists. I can't be arsed to actually fill them in, but some intrepid list maniac may take the bait.

Top 100 Films you wished you'd never wasted time watching. Not necessarily "bad" films, just those that fade in the memory faster than a shopping list.

Top 50 books that everyone borrows, reads and forgets to return to the owner.

Top 20 celebrities with an IQ higher than a digital camera. Make that Top 5.

Top 10 scientific facts that most people believe true but are actually completely false.

Top 10 favourite hands or feet from adverts where the person is probably butt-ugly but has one redeeming anatomical feature.

Top 10 websites that have nothing meaningful apart from Top 10 Lists.

Top 10 must have accessories that now look really sad.

Top 10 sporting moments that now look very dull taken out of context.

Top 10 items stolen during a burglary that have very little actual value.

Top 10 names that people have had to change out of embarrassment.

The list is, sadly, endless...