Looking for a great name for your new band? Why don’t you consult with the prescription drug companies? They seem to have a knack for coming up with MTV-like names for their own companies or for their latest and greatest products.

Since drug companies started advertising their product names on television and in print, we have been inundated with advertisements and it’s no coincidence that the products’ names lean towards being catchy. Maybe we assume that the names are Latin or Greek-based, but I think they name them as a commercial jingle writer would…repeat the name often and make it stick in the consumers’ minds.

With that said, here are the top five prescription drug company and/or drug names that I think sound like opening acts for popular musical tours:

5. Astra-Zeneca: I swear I saw them open for David Bowie’s Ziggy Stardust Tour in the 70s. Remember the heavy makeup, bedazzled white pantsuits and 8 inch platform shoes?

4. Caduet: Isn’t this the name of that show in Las Vegas where impersonators of Liza Minelli and Wayne Newton regale the crowds with oldies but goodies?

3. Lunesta: Definitely opened for Metallica when Enter the Sandman was a big hit.

2. Merck: This is that brooding band whose mellow tunes opened for Beck on his one tour, right?

1. Zyrtec: I’m pretty sure that this is the name of that German techno-pop band that toured with Weezer recently.

Please do not listen to these bands or their music if you are pregnant or may become pregnant, have high blood pressure or have symptoms of COPD or use an inhaler.

Side effects of the music are mild and can include hearing loss, nausea, vertigo, panic attacks and baldness.

Questions? Ask your doctor if this music is right for you.