Have you tried to break up with someone only to let your reservations cause you to sit in silence?

Does thinking about the repercussions of hurting someone you used to love but now can’t stand give you an upset stomach or diarrhea?

If communication is not your strong point, especially when it comes to dropping a proverbial bomb on someone’s life, let me give you some suggestions on how to break up with someone. I asked some of my friends for break up tips and here are the top ten answers that made the list:

10.) Stop using deodorant. Within a few short days your not so significant other will be a lot less likely to invade your personal space.

9.) Just start ignoring him/her. It won’t be too long before they get fed up with it and punch you. Then you can file a restraining order.

8.) Call out someone else’s name in the throes of passion. This should be grounds for an immediate break up.

7.) Shave their head while they are asleep. If they don’t appreciate their new aerodynamic look then tell them to dress loud so it takes the focus off of their head.

6.) Fake your own death. But be sure to get your ducks in a row before you set this plan into effect, as the end result could really be your own death.

5.) Get them fired from their job. Then complain all the time about how you always have to pay for everything.

4.) Use all the hot water before they shower. When they start to complain just remember tip #9.

3.) Put a layer of saran wrap over the toilet bowl before they use it. Afterwards ask if they like the new bidet.

2.) Tell their friends that he/she gave you sexually transmitted disease (STD).

1.) Next time his or her parents call for them, say he/she just left for their first day of drug rehab or therapy.

You can use these break up tips for women or men. I think they are more like pranks, but I guess if you followed them you would end up single eventually.

legal discliamer
No one was harmed in the making of this list. It was written for entertainment purposes only and shouldn’t be taken seriously. If you do attempt to pull off any of these break up tips then the author of this article should be left blameless. Besides this is the twenty first century and break ups nowadays are done over an email or text messaging.

-AngryDago-