Twenty Things To Do While Bored On A Train Ride
Twenty Things To Do While Bored On A Train Ride
Have you ever been so incredibly bored that your brain gives birth to ideas so ridiculous that you feel the need to put them down on paper? No? Well it happens to me a lot which is why I make "Cara Lists". Here is a good one, titled "Twenty Things To Do While Bored On A Train Ride":
1. Hold a newspaper upside down in front of you. Pretend to read it complete with facial expressions. Laugh loudly when you get to the comics.
2. Ask the stranger next to you if you can borrow their Chapstick. Mumble the word "asshole" when they refuse.
3. Make an extremely loud farting noise by placing your hands over your mouth and blowing hard. Look at the person next to you with complete disgust and move to another car.
4. Try to get everyone to sing Kumba-ya with you. Learn all the verses and make copies of the lyrics to pass out.
5. Make up an interpretive dance to the poem "There Once Was A Man From Nantucket". Perform it in each car.
6. Bring a fully stocked bar with you. Offer to mix drinks for people. After you serve them say "Okay that'll be $6."
7. Take out your cell phone and pretend to be a telemarketer.
8. Take out your cell phone and pretend to be a pimp.
9. Start singing "It's A Small World" out loud. Look at the person next to you and say "Oh sorry. I thought we were on the Teacups."
10. Fly out of your seat and slam your body into the wall every time the train comes to a stop. Then sit back down and pretend nothing happened.
11. See if anyone will give you a massage.
12. Bring a video camera. Film people on the train and tell them you are making a documentary on the life cycle of crabgrass. Ask them to sign a release form.
13. Tell people you are a caricature artist. Draw stick figures with only one distinguishable feature (i.e. the person's hat, their huge ass, etc.)
14. Make a production out of playing Solitaire on the seat facing you by using Uno cards.
15. Light candles and incense around you while chanting phrases in Pig Latin.
16. Get three other people to pretend to be the Monkees with you. Entertain everyone else by performing "Last Train to Clarksville". Make sure whoever is being Mike Nesmith has a ski cap on.
17. Place three different sized coins at one end of the car. Let them race to the other side. Give the winner a prize.
18. Ask the conductor if you can borrow his flashlight. Then tell passengers you are a medical student and you want to practice on them by looking in their ears.
19. Try to open a window. When the conductor tries to stop you, tell him/her you want to scatter the ashes of a loved one. If you are permitted to proceed, smoke a cigarette out the window.
20. Bring a baby carrier with a doll in it. Take it out every once in a while to feed it, rock it, change it. Tell the person next to you how you haven't slept in days because the baby is teething.
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I think I'd be slaughtered
I think I'd be slaughtered if I did that on the train I ride on. Everyone's so uptight!
Tackled by Homeland Security
Cara, you'd be tackled by any number of security agencies if you tried most of these on the LIRR! Actually if I had read your list on a train, I'd have been tackled because I was laughing so loud. I'd love to see someone trying these out on a train, especially if they had a hidden camera on them to record the expressions of the other passengers! More Cara Lists, please!
Maybe I could put the
Maybe I could put the winning coin into one of those commerative display cases and set it up on the mantle so that it would be taken out of circulation. That might make it proud of itself.
I wish I'd read this when I
I wish I'd read this when I took the LIRR every day. If you're talking about the same "There once was a man from Nantucket" I learned when I was 12, I might be hesitant on the interpretive dance.
Flyswatter
Xomba Moderator
Interpretive Dance
Oh, but that's the best part, the dance!! It just wouldn't be the same without it!
I have a friend up north who wouldn't hesitate to do these things. He's hysterically funny...anything to get attention or a laugh! He would be fun to ride with. For some crazy reason, I think I could almost see Cara doing all of these too! I think the two of you would make quite the team on the LIRR!
Very cute and funny Cara, thanks for the laughs!
Dragonfly
Xomba Moderator
Great Post!
Great post and I wonder you got only two points! +1 from me...Thanks to the Xomba to include this in hall of fame...really a deserving one...Funnnyyyyyyy.........
http://www.xomba.com/user/pendrive
20 things to do on a boring train ride
It's an old post from the early days of Xomba (almost two years ago)... there was a different rating system in effect then. When the new system was put in place, all the existing posts were reset to 0 points. Since this is an older one and the writer is no longer active, there's no way most people would come across it. I like it, so I selected it as one of my 'favorite xombytes' for my Hall of Fame induction.
Hi there...
Hi Idle! Thank you for picking my piece!!! What is this Hall of Fame I keep hearing about?
Ashamedly, I have not written anything noteworthy in a long time. Though I did just sign up for sponsorship through an online course that hopefully will guide me back into it - possibly lead to publishing if I'm lucky.
The thing is, I met "The One" a year and a half ago and I got caught up in the "I'm so in love I have no time to do anything but be in love" thing. I should really use all of that as fuel for more writing.
At any rate, thank you for still reading my Xombytes!! I'm glad to know that my stuff is still out there :-)
Hey Cara!
Great to see you're still around (sort of around, anyway)!
Xomba started a Hall of Fame and I was one of the four people to be inducted into the first round, and they asked each inductee to name their four favorite xombytes. I knew that two of them would be from you and Sue Stone, but I had a hard time picking the one to include (close runners-up were 'Tile+Socks' and one of your night-out-at-a-bar stories).
You can find the Hall of Fame post here... xomba.com/xomba_hall_of_fame
I'm actually thinking of writing a xombyte going into more detail on some of my favorite bytes, including some of yours and Sue's.
Congrats on finding 'the One," that's great (though I guess it means we may not see any more of those zany bar-hopping stories from you). But as you say, being in love can definitely provide a lot of "material" for writing.
Hope you'll pop in on Xomba when you can and write some more. Are you still out on LI? I fortunately quit my job there a couple of years ago (not such a great commute from NJ!)
Best of luck... see you around!
Great pick
Great pick Idlewild and congrats. The humor in Cara's bytes have always made me laugh and a little envious.
Cara you must come back! You and Mia would probably rule the Xomba land.
A Great Pick
Idlewild. I really loved all the stories that you picked. There seemed to have been real good writers here on Xomba back then and we seemed to have missed the cream. Thanks for giving us an opportunity to read these. I wish more such old bytes could be raked up!
Xomba is a mine full of gems. They need to be dug up.
Cara should definitely come back.
Great Article
Such a great pick. Really enjoyed reading it. Thanks.