Are you unemployed? If you answered yes I'd also bet that you are starting to feel that gut wrenching twist in your stomach of stress, anxiety, and fear. The facts are that unemployment is growing in America. While recent reports suggest that the recession is ending, most experts also acknowledge that the employment issue is only going to get worse over the next few months. They predict that as far away as 2012, numbers across the nation could remain as high as 9.5% unemployment. Despite economic turns over the past two months companies continue to hemorrhage jobs at an alarming rate. Jobs are few and hard to come by and competition for those few positions is fierce and ruthless. Many employers are taking advantage of the growing desperation to lower wages on entry positions and cut benefits offered. Additionally a growing trend of apathy from those who are still (for the time being employed) is building across society. I myself have heard on more then one occasion the helpful admonition of "Why don't you just go find a job!" In short I would love to. Tell me where one is. Those of us here in the trenches are discovering rather quickly that there are none.

Facts not Excuses

I live in a mostly rural area,the largest employer being a family owned construction company that has been forced to lay off approximately half its work force since the summer. The economy in this little mountain area depends on tourism and traffic coming through to the National Park and nearby theme parks. Most of the businesses in this region operate on a seasonal basis, shutting down in the winter months and laying off their workers for three months. This year however has recorded the lowest turnouts and visitor traffic in twenty years. In an industry that relies on tourist to fill hotel rooms, restaurants, and rides. low numbers are catastrophic and deadly. I lost my job when the restaurant I managed and cooked in went out of business after five years because they could not afford their lease payments. I quickly filed applications with other restaurants but soon learned that most were in similar situations and even national franchises were letting workers go , and relying on salaried employees to fill the gap in labor and production.

For me losing my job was especially difficult as I had just spent the previous year in jail, and have a felony conviction on my record. I have been informed over 76 times that I can not be employed because of my record. What did I do you ask? Well, should it matter? It was not a violent crime, I did not steal or harm anyone. I threatened a former associate who had stolen from me, but because of the issue of money it is considered a crime. More to the point I served the sentence required of me and paid my supposed debt to society. The crime itself happened in 2002, and I have not been in trouble before or sense. However I do have a service record from the Marines filled with commendations and a honorable discharge. Unfortunately I have learned in our hypocritical society that one mistake can erase a lifetime of good deeds and forever hold a man back. I still keep trying though , but in the end it has been a waste of time, and effort. I have spent all of my meager savings and now now am behind on several bills. I have lost my home, my car and just the other day, was informed that until such time as I can pay my auto insurance that the state has suspended my license in accordance with state regulations.

Even more Amazing there are crowds of people here on hubpages and in my community that would say I am using excuses. That if I really wanted to work, I'd find a job. I can only laugh at this sentiment and attitude as I have noticed that most people making such comments are not in need of employment and have not been forced to look for work in many years, let alone in the midst of the worse economic decline since the 1930's. I would love to see such authorities on employment quit their jobs and try to find one in my area. There were four job requests in this past Sunday's paper, all requiring a college degree or five years experience, and unfortunately 3 of the four were for positions out of state. There were no job openings posted online for my area there haven't been any in weeks.

Depression is growing.

Not wanting to focus on the problem but a solution I have decided to pursue a career in writing and online entrepreneurship. I have realized that much of the cause behind the worsening situation in my region is that so many peole rely on others for their wages and success that when those others collapsed everyone relying on them did as well. I don't want to have to face this situation ever again. I will build my own income and business and be the decider of my economic fate from here on out. It seems the only available avenue for me to take. Where I live there are no jobs being offered indeed in just 4 more weeks those businesses that are operating will lay off their workers and a truly desperate time will begin in earnest here. Poverty will grow, along with it, stress, anger, and depression.

As of today my county leads all of the state in reported cases of depression and suicide, and these numbers have spiked dramatically in the past few months. Not surprisingly to me men seem to be the hardest hit. In this part of the country society in general is still very traditional and close minded, translation: Men are to be the bread winners. Men have been the hardest hit by unemployment and job cuts, the few jobs still available in the nearest city are traditionally filled by women and indeed those that are hiring seem to be only accepting women. By and large men are just out of luck and options, in my area and in many all throughout the nation as a whole. Its starting to show to those who wish to see it.

Everywhere I look men walk around as if dazed or wounded. Their heads hang low, their faces blank and eyes cold. They've been broken. Take a way a man's ability to provide the basic needs of his family and you will break his heart. Take away his ability to even feed himself, and you will watch his soul gradually die. Most men identify themselves with their work. Take that away and they are lost and without purpose. many of the unemployed in my area have worked in one career for so long they know how to do little else. Many are in their fifties and no longer considered desirable for the service industries where public relations are required. What are they to do? Retraining and reeducation costs money. Most can not even buy groceries and gas let alone make tuition payments. The government assistance that many would suggest or promise is not materializing.

Still others would imply that such assistance is socialism and emblematic of a welfare state, to them I would offer that you be silent until you are in a situation of dire need and desperation yourself. Most of the unemployed here have worked all their lives, paying into unemployment and social security while supporting millions of aging citizens that never have, but now in their time of need they should be ignored and left to starve and whither because you don't want to spread socialism. Better yet I would warn you to shut your mouth before it gets a sock stuffed in it or worse. Don't compare a man who has lost his job to a bum. Contrary to your elitist mind the majority of the unemployed in America today are hard working self-reliant individuals who have lost everything to this economy. They would gladly sacrifice pay and benefits just to be able to pay their own bills.

A Poor Image of Men

The Image of men in America is suffering greatly these days. On TV they are portrayed as blundering idiots and morons, dependent on their attractive wives for guidance and life. In church they are condemned and belittled as sinners addicted to porn, and absentee fathers. In the workplace they are told how worthless they are and devalued daily and worse discarded like garbage at the first sign of trouble. Men are lost, confused, and seething with anger and resentment. I have watched great men being reduced to sobbing emotional wrecks lately as all they have worked to build and earn is being washed away. We are told to be tough, to be strong, and resilient, then chastised for our coldness and emotional unavailability. Now we are being called bums and lazy.

I am very angry and I hope it shows. This growing crisis in America, is threatening to overcome many a good man and person. Our communities are filled with apathy and indifference. Our minds are filled with ridiculous double standards and qualifications for worthiness. Just the other day I met a relative I had not seen in 7 years, upon shaking their hand I was not asked, how I was, or given condolences for the three family members I have lost in the past 18 months. Instead the first comment out of their mouth was why don't you have a job? I have realized like millions of men are everyday, that it doesn't matter how hard I try, look, or work to better myself in the interim, the simple truth is to all those fortunate enough to have jobs the rest of us are worthless. You can all have a taste of my middle finger then.

In the mean time, I don't sleep. I spend most nights wondering how I'll get food the next week, or how I'll pay the light bill, and internet. No I don't have my own place I have had to move in with family, and they are suffering as much as I. My father has been laid off, and his wife soon will be.I rarely eat, and am losing weight faster then I could have imagined. I hide in my room avoiding visitors and family because I dread the inevitable question about my employment, and the judgment that follows. You see writing is not employment to most traditional Americans, but a hobby that contributes little money to rent or food, and in my current situation is true.

I have realized by any definition that I am clinically depressed. I fear my dark moods and hopeless days that come more frequently now. I hide my emotions from clients and friends, not seeking to add to their own strife and hard times. Keeping the good face on is hard work I have found and draining. What other choice do I have? I would love to seek some kind of professional advice but have no insurance or income to speak of. So I will have to climb out of this on my own. In my next hub I will tell you how I am doing that.