The Relationship Breakup
Sometimes the relationship breakup happens and neither partner really wants it. This really is a shame because most of these breakups fail to get fixed, they never manage to get back together again. Why does the breakup happen and what can you do if you think it has happened to you?

This type of breakup is far more common than you might imagine, and the couple involved seldom realise that their breakup needn't have happened in the first place. The fundamental cause is simply a lack of effective communication. Either, one of the partners isn't listening, or the other one isn't explaining themselves well enough. So lets take a broad example to illustrate what's going on and how to fix the breakup once it's taken place.

This could very well be you, or your partner, so think about it from both perspectives as you read it. A lot of couples rely on hinting to each other when they want something, instead of coming right out and saying it, they expect their partner to pick up on these hints and when they don't, they get frustrated. The frustration comes from the length of time they are willing to wait for their partner to catch on. This is silly, if they don't get your hints the first few times, they are never likely to get them.

Other couples do actually spell things out, they come right out and say what it is that they want, but their partner fails to grasp the importance of whatever it is they want. Again it's a failure to communicate effectively. The desire has been communicated well enough, but not the importance.

Either of these scenarios isn't usually a problem in a 'once off' situation, they only become a problem when they happen continually. This leads to a very one-sided relationship and it can happen without the guilty partner intending it, or even realising that they are doing it. The breakup occurs out of a kind of desperation, it's the last thing they can think of to demonstrate just how important their predicament is to them. They don't want to breakup. they simply can't find any other way to get their point across. They have completely run out of ideas and decide that they have had enough.

The problem why most breakups like this are never rescued is because neither partner knows the real reason behind the relationship breakup. Because of this, they usually end up in a row. The continual rows then become the reason for the breakup so they never get to the real fundamental reason and until they realise what the underlying reasons for their relationship problems are, they can't fix it and their relationship continues on a downward spiral.

The simple truth is that it will only take one of the partners to realise what has happened in order to fix the breakup and get back together again. If it's the guilty partner, then a simple apology explaining that they now know what was wrong and they are willing to do whatever it takes to rectify things and they could be making up almost instantly. If, on the other hand, it's the aggrieved partner that realises what has happened, then they can approach their ex and explain that the breakup was simply a way to show how incensed they felt, that the breakup wasn't meant to be permanent, just a 'wake up call' to display the importance of being taken seriously within the relationship.

Hopefully, you can now see why this type of breakup is referred to as the unnecessary relationship breakup. Communication is the real problem, and communication is also the simple and effective answer. However, sometimes it gets more complicated and egos get in the way as well as stubbornness. If this happens, then even if both partners realise what has really happened, it will take a lot more to get them back together and rescue their relationship.