This is not a medical diagnosing article. This is a life experience article. All medical professionals’ diagnosis and medications should be continued and followed. This article is not a scientific article. This article is for thought, pondering and discussion. This article is not a diagnosis for anyone who has any or all of these symptoms as described in this article. This article is about how I have come to understand why I go through, what I go through.

Have you ever known a person or are you a person that cries for supposedly no reason? Have you ever had a child that comes home from school and just goes to their room, you know something is wrong and so you go in to see how they are doing and they are crying. You ask all the right questions, how was your day at school… did any thing happen… and you can not figure out what is wrong… you think they are just being emotional. Then you realize you used to do the same things and it baffles your mind. Some types of questions you might what to ask are: “Were you around anybody who was sad today?” “In your thoughts, who are you thinking of?” “In your mind do you see a picture of a person, whether you know them or not?” If they don’t know the person, Then ask, “Tell me what they look like” and then, “What are they going through?” Be very gentle, be very accepting of what they say, encourage them to speak, but try not to lead them.

I was nine years old, my dad said, “Oh you cannot watch this movie, but you can watch it when you are older. So, head off to your room and play for a while.” No problem. I went off to my room, but after a while I got thirsty and came out for a drink of water. I walked through the living room and on the TV was a group of women and children heading off to the gas chambers. The movie was the Holocaust. I was devastated. I knew what I saw was very real. I went back into my room and cried. Even before this I was a very angry child, quick explosive type anger. But, I also had huge burdens I was carrying around for other people. I learned quickly to hide these emotions from others. Some of my step brothers and sisters would call me cry baby. As I look back they had a very good reason for this. But, as I grew up I shut down my emotions, became very logical and intellectually driven. But when I would get home at night and was by myself all these emotions would come flooding over me. I knew if I could just get to sleep I would be ok in the morning. At times I would come home from a large store or market and I would be frustrated and angry beyond belief. I would try to figure it out. I had been fine all day, my week was going well, my bills were paid, usually, but I knew something was wrong. I wasn’t mad at anyone. My relationships were all going ok. I never did have a lot of close friends, but the friends I had were very close. The emotions were very confusing and there seemed to be no rhyme or reason to them. Yes, at times I thought there was something broken in me; at times I thought I was going or was already slightly crazy.

I began to be able to read people. I could tell as I walked up to a crowd of people who to stay away from: ‘Oh that person is very angry, that woman has got bad stuff all over her, oh that lady is sad, that guy feels rejected, that person is resentful at that person over there and the person over there is mad at the first person. Then it got to the point of where I could see that two people are sleeping together but they don’t want anyone to know, that lady started smoking again and she is hiding it from her husband, that young man is doing these and those drugs, oh that young woman is looking for a husband. And all this I would know before I even joined the group. I would get up to the group and ask my friend, “How are you doing?” and he would say fine. I would unwisely ask about how is wife and kids were doing and he would say fine. After the gathering I would go home and just hurt. I would feel resentment and angry. I would want to flee and hide. Yet, all the time I could see my friend and his wife in my mind. Then three weeks later he would call and ask if he could stay with me, because his wife and he had split up. I found I was drawn to hurting people like a moth to a flame, and it seemed I continued to die in the flames. Huge compassion for people, even strangers, would come over me. I could feel their pain. I could not always tell why. I didn’t see everything and sometimes I couldn’t quite understand what I was feeling or why.

Just after I turned 38, I started begining to understand a little. A friend of mine, knew another person who had a lot of these same characteristics and emotions. We began to talk and I began to understand. She also showed me a video on the subject, by Elijah House Ministries.

I had previously called myself a chameleon. I could fit into almost any group. I seemed to connect with people where they were at. If it was a fun loving group, I fit right in. If it was an intellectual group, my thoughts, conversations and writing turned to philosophy, morality, politics, physics, psychology, even quantum physics, it didn’t matter. Very angry people I just naturally avoided, but everybody else or every group I could just naturally resonate with. But, when I would go home I would shut and lock all the doors, close all the curtains, and sometimes I would just start dry heaving and not know why.

At times I would leave a friends house on the way home my chest would start hurting; I couldn’t breath, pain would shoot through my chest, and sometimes it would last for days. I quite going to the doctors for bronchitis like symptoms and quite telling them that I had chest pains, it got too expensive (I recommend telling a doctor all your symptoms, this is just how I dealt with the issue). I started realizing that every time a got around people that were dealing with anxiety these same symptoms would appear. I began asking trusted friends about what I was feeling. I would say, “I’m not trying to pry into your life, but I am trying to figure out something about my life, may I ask you a personal question?” Usually the person would say yes, and I would ask them do you deal with anxiety?” or “Do you deal with times of sadness or fear?” It seemed I was feeling what others were feeling, they would either tell me yes then or later they would come up to me and say that they actually had lied, but yes they do go through what ever area I had asked them about. I didn’t mind that they had lied, peoples’ stuff is their own business I always had this huge compassion for people and their privacy.

I began to notice certain of my friends had similar issues and feeling like I did. Some of these left their house as little as possible, some hated going to huge super centers or where there were lots of people. My friends that could feel other like I do had a range of emotional and physical issues like I did. Everything from depression which is a common symptom starting in pre teen and teen years, over eating or not wanting to eat, frigidity or promiscuity, irrational pains in their bodies which I call ‘phantom pains.’ These are pains that appear for no reason and last for five to ten minutes and then they move to another part of the body. These people would tend to have or develop back problems. They have a tendency to continually wash their hands. Have spells of dry heaves or actual vomiting. Be called names like, overly sensitive, emotional, cry baby, moody, etcetera. A lot of my friends can tell when someone was about to call, come over, or knew when a friend or relative was sick. All these people are very compassionate for others, if you were in a bind they will take you into their house, feed you, make time for you, and are drawn to the outcasts of society. A lot of these people can see were this issue affected one or more of their parents or grandparents.

Our bodies are electro-chemical shells (our skin) filled with water that operates on electricity which makes us move, work, and that triggers the brain to produce chemicals such as serotonin, adrenalin, and other chemicals that affect our moods. That’s why as humans we like mood altering chemicals (drugs); we change our body chemistry and it changes our emotions. Just look at society today and the amount of prescriptions given to change people’s moods, from anti-depressants to anxiety medication to prescriptions for kids who have ADHD. Doctors and psychologists try to change the body chemistry. They try to change the mood and functions of the body, so that the person can change their behaviors. Now here is a theory and it is only a theory, this is my theory. Those of us who can sense these things have a highly sensitive electrical system. Our electrical system is affected by other people’s electrical system. Therefore we change as we get around other people. Have you ever head of personal magnetism. Look at how we see a pregnant mom glowing and we know that she is full of life and joy. What about the statements and idea, the after glow of sex. You can see people who are full of life, there is a magnetic attraction to them; just think of the wonderful radiance and angelic qualities of a new born baby. Most of us have heard statements such as; there’s a twinkle in his eyes, there’s a sparkle about her, he has an electric personality, there’s a glow about her, the glow of love, there’s a fire in his eyes, it was a magnetic attraction, These electrical changes produce external signs to people, we are able to read people and we don’t know why or how. Sometimes we think it is because we see it physically and sometimes we just can’t see to understand why. It appears to be changes in the electrical-magnetic changes around us. Have you noticed how people do strange things on a full moon? Is spring fever a change in the electro-magnetic changes due to our position around the sun? Why are we so drawn to the electrical light of our TV’s? And look at all the electronics, electrical appliances, and electro-magnetic fields that we live in today. We all as people go through this, yet there are some that seem to be hyper-sensitive.

I tend to think of this hyper-sensitivity in me like burdens that I am carrying. I was reading through the Psalms and in the Psalms King David tends to be very emotional in his song writing. I was reading Psalm 38 and this is what it says.

A psalm of David. A petition.

Ps 38:1 O LORD, do not rebuke me in your anger or discipline me in your wrath.
Ps 38:2 For your arrows have pierced me, and your hand has come down upon me.
Ps 38:3 Because of your wrath there is no health in my body; my bones have no soundness because of my sin.
Ps 38:4 My guilt has overwhelmed me like a burden too heavy to bear.

Is David here picking up other peoples guilt as he is writing this. He also seems to refer to something that is like, ‘a burden to heavy to bear.’ This is also another area that sensitive people tend to deal with is huge amounts of guilt. I have found that most of it was other people’s guilt. But, if you don’t know that you can pick up stuff from people then all we have left is to own the emotion as our own, even though you don’t know why. If we analyze it we begin to call it ‘false guilt.’ It is not truly false guilt, it is true guilt, yet it is other people’s guilt.
Then David continues in Psalm 38 to describe so some of his physical reactions to this gifting.

Ps 38:5 My wounds fester and are loathsome because of my sinful folly.
Ps 38:6 I am bowed down and brought very low; all day long I go about mourning.
Ps 38:7 My back is filled with searing pain; there is no health in my body.

Even David was dealing with emotions that triggered physical pain, ‘my back is filled with searing pain; there is no health in my body.’ Back pain tends to be a strange phenomenon that goes hand in hand with people who bear burdens, maybe because of the huge emotional weight that is felt by the burden bearer. As David said, ‘I am bowed down and brought very low.’ Emotional weight can do this to our bodies and some of you will well know. David then continues with emotions that he is dealing with.

Ps 38:8 I am feeble and utterly crushed; I groan in anguish of heart.
Ps 38:9 All my longings lie open before you, O Lord; my sighing is not hidden from you.
Ps 38:10 My heart pounds, my strength fails me; even the light has gone from my eyes.

So, here king David is talking about the emotions of feeling utterly crushed, anguish in his heart, huge longings and sighing, his heart pounding (symptoms of anxiety), which saps his strength and the sparkle in his eyes goes out.
He then begins to talk about how his friends treat him when he is going through this stuff.

Ps 38:11 My friends and companions avoid me because of my wounds; my neighbors stay far away.
Ps 38:12 Those who seek my life set their traps, those who would harm me talk of my ruin; all day long they plot deception.

People just don’t understand David and his enemies use these emotional episodes to attack him. Have you ever had a spouse who uses your emotional baggage against you to get their way? Hmmm? Then David goes on to talk about what he is going through and how he responds.

Ps 38:13 I am like a deaf man, who cannot hear, like a mute, who cannot open his mouth;
Ps 38:14 I have become like a man who does not hear, whose mouth can offer no reply.
Ps 38:15 I wait for you, O LORD; you will answer, O Lord my God.
Ps 38:16 For I said, “Do not let them gloat or exalt themselves over me when my foot slips

David doesn’t realize what he is going through but he still calls out to God even though he can’t hear or speak and he waits on God. Then David gets an opportunity to speak and he starts to confess his sins yet David in the following verse proclaims his innocence, but is thinking about his enemies. In his mind he has a mental picture of people, that is why I said at the beginning of this article to ask people who tend to be very emotional are they getting a picture or thought of anyone else. Then David continues with how he deals with these emotions.

Ps 38:17 For I am about to fall, and my pain is ever with me.
Ps 38:18 I confess my iniquity; I am troubled by my sin.
Ps 38:19 Many are those who are my vigorous enemies; those who hate me without reason are numerous.
Ps 38:20 Those who repay my good with evil slander me when I pursue what is good.

So, David is confessing sin even though he states his intensions are good. Then David rests in knowing that God will come to his aid, even though he feels (oh no, there that feeling word again) that he is forsaken. Have you ever felt forsaken, yet you knew your were not? David felt the same in the next passage.

Ps 38:21 O LORD, do not forsake me; be not far from me, O my God.
Ps 38:22 Come quickly to help me, O Lord my Savior.

Burden Bearers are very sensitive people who pick up others emotional and spiritual stuff and then carry it away from the other person. Have you ever had people say to you, “oh, I feel so much better now that I have talked with you”? And you were so filled with a feeling of accomplishment and joy because the other person is doing better and you think you have done a good thing. That is, till you got home and then you emotionally broke down and started having all these icky emotions. Once the majority of the feelings are gone you try to analyze why you were feeling that way and just went around in circles in your logic. Don’t worry your not alone.

I would like you to look at this story and tell me what you think as it applies to your life. It is about King David and someone who is said to have a evil spirit, a nasty emotional disposition and see if this applies or is similar to your experiences.

1Sa 16:14 Now the Spirit of the LORD had departed from Saul, and an evil spirit from the LORD tormented him.
1Sa 16:15 Saul’s attendants said to him, “See, an evil spirit from God is tormenting you.
1Sa 16:16 Let our lord command his servants here to search for someone who can play the harp. He will play when the evil spirit from God comes upon you, and you will feel better.”
1Sa 16:17 So Saul said to his attendants, “Find someone who plays well and bring him to me.”
1Sa 16:18 One of the servants answered, “I have seen a son of Jesse of Bethlehem who knows how to play the harp. He is a brave man and a warrior. He speaks well and is a fine-looking man. And the LORD is with him.”
1Sa 16:19 Then Saul sent messengers to Jesse and said, “Send me your son David, who is with the sheep.”
1Sa 16:20 So Jesse took a donkey loaded with bread, a skin of wine and a young goat and sent them with his son David to Saul.
1Sa 16:21 David came to Saul and entered his service. Saul liked him very much, and David became one of his armor-bearers.
1Sa 16:22 Then Saul sent word to Jesse, saying, “Allow David to remain in my service, for I am pleased with him.”
1Sa 16:23 Whenever the spirit from God came upon Saul, David would take his harp and play. Then relief would come to Saul; he would feel better, and the evil spirit would leave him.

The story does not go on the say how David reacted or what he went through after he left Saul, but if you look at the Psalms David wrote, and read them from this perspective, you tend to very detailed sense of what David would go through because of this gifting. This brings me to another point, a lot of people who bear burdens tend to be very prolific or intimate worshippers. King David was of the tribe of Judah and Judah means praise.

One of King David sons which also had this gifting, and he writes,

What a heavy burden God has laid on men!

Here we have one of David’s sons writing about the heaviness and burdens that he experiences and the gift of burden bearing was passed onto him, and his name was Solomon. Have you ever felt that every thing was meaningless a chasing after the wind?

Ecc 1:13 I devoted myself to study and to explore by wisdom all that is done under heaven. What a heavy burden God has laid on men!
Ecc 1:14 I have seen all the things that are done under the sun; all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind.

So, as stated before this gifting tends to run in families. Did one of your parents have an alcohol problem? Do you look back at them and think, ‘they just used the alcohol to run away from their problems?’ It was not just their problems they were running from. Ever feel like your carrying the burden of the whole world? They probably were also. Burden bearers or the highly sensitive tend to have an escapist mentality from pain. I know I did and still do at times. We tend to run from pain; the very thing our gift attracts. Now I would like to look at a descendant of Solomon who had this gift also.

Isa 53:2 He grew up before him like a tender shoot, and like a root out of dry ground. He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.
Isa 53:3 He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not.
Isa 53:4 Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted.
Isa 53:5 But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.

Especially look at verse 4,

Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows,

So, here we have a picture of one of Solomon’s sons carrying other people’s sorrows. This passage talks about as you know, Jesus. Now look at the garden of Gethsemane and the statements Jesus makes.

Mt 26:36 Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.”
Mt 26:37 He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled.
Mt 26:38 Then he said to them, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.”

All of a sudden Jesus begins to be sorrowful and troubled. It gets so intense that Jesus says my soul is overwhelmed to the point of death. This tells us quiet a few things. One is that this gifting is an aspect of the nature of God the Father, for Jesus is the exact representation of God. Two, it also tells us where we carry these burdens and that is in our soul; mind, will and emotions. Three, if a person is processing through these types of burdens the best thing you can do for them is to sit with them, watch, and pray. Four, that this gifting is a very hard burden to carry and can cause our bodies to be overwhelmed and react to the burdens. Fifth, this gifting is an aspect of the cross. The cross is a picture of the Old Testament Temple where the sins of the people were laid onto the head of the sheep before it was sacrificed.

Another picture of what goes on with this gift is to look at the sequences of the Temple, what came first, what were the priest to do; i.e. ceremonial washing, changing of clothes, etcetera. These are physical pictures of spiritual realities, look at Hebrews chapters 7:11 through 10:18. Then look again at the temple and the benefits that lay in the Inner Court and Most Holy Place. For, he is making us to be a nation of kings and priest with him.

1Pe 2:4 As you come to him, the living Stone—rejected by men but chosen by God and precious to him—
1Pe 2:5 you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.

1Pe 2:9 But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.

The apostle Paul was also a bearer of burdens, you can tell by statements he makes.

Ro 12:1 Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship.

Ro 8:18 I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.

Phil 3:10 I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death,

1Co 5:3 Even though I am not physically present, I am with you in spirit. And I have already passed judgment on the one who did this, just as if I were present.
1Co 5:4 When you are assembled in the name of our Lord Jesus and I am with you in spirit, and the power of our Lord Jesus is present,

In this last statement Paul is so tied in with them in the spirit that he can read and feel their stuff from miles and miles away. And if you look at King David, Solomon, Paul and Jesus in this light you may find other things that will help you process through these confusing, hard, mysterious emotions that we think of as a curse and so do a lot of other people (Isaiah 53:3b, 4b Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not. We considered him stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted.)

Therefore, hopefully this gave you some insight about what is going on in you or in someone else that you know. Knowing this will not fix you. Knowing this will not fix them. Knowing this will not make it cease to happen. Knowing this will not make it go away. Knowing this may let you in on some ideas about what is going on. This may relieve the confusion and self condemnation of what is going on in you. But, this is only the beginning for the healing of the Burden Bearer.

If you are interested in finding more information one place to go to is Elijah House Ministries. This article is of my own and I have no affiliation with them.

So to state once again, this is not a medical diagnosing article. This is a life experience article. All medical professionals’ diagnosis and medications should be continued and followed. This article is not a scientific article. This article is for thought, pondering and discussion. This article is not a diagnosis for anyone who has any or all of these symptoms as described in this article. This article is about how I have come to understand why I go through what I go through from a spiritual point of view.

For another article on Burden Bearing: The Spiritual Realm and the Dynamics of Burden Bearers

All texts were taken from:
The Holy Bible, New International Version. Pradis CD-ROM

For more articles by this author click here

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