Was it You?


Was it You?

1
point

Ok, this is my first EVER poem. (Except that one back in third grade that was put in the school paper). But I'm almost 50 now so it has been a long time. This is just something that came to me while driving a couple days ago and I wanted to share it.
--------------------------------------------------

I’m an older man
Getting on in my years
I gave up on finding you
You never showed up in my life

I have always been told
There’s someone for everyone
I tried and tried
I even used the Internet

So I gave up on finding you
Since I have lost the youthful years
I wanted to share those years with you
But you never showed up in my life

Last night in my sleep
I heard a voice say to me
“I’m here, please don’t give up!
I’m looking for you too!”

When I awoke my heart was racing
Could this be your soul
Telling me not to give up?
Did you send it to me?

This visit gives me some more hope
But was it real or just a hopeful dream?
Should I take heart in this visit from your soul?
Or was it just a wishful dream?



user-icon Submitted by MagickWizard on Thu, 2006-09-07 16:16


»

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
John Minstral's picture

This was an enjoyable read.

Submitted by John Minstral on Thu, 2006-09-07 17:52.

This was an enjoyable read. I love the use of the word "you;" it shows the speaker's connection to a person he has never met. The repitition of "I gave up on finding you" shows the seriousness of the speakers feelings, but then in the second half of the poem the speaker has his hopes restored. This change make me feel a better connection to the speaker. I think that you should consider writing some more poetry.

MagickWizard's picture

Thank you for your comments

Submitted by MagickWizard on Thu, 2006-09-07 19:37.

Thanks!

I'm not sure about that. Sometimes I get verses in my head, but I really want to learn how to write. I have a novel in me trying desperately to get out. My lack of knowing how to write is giving it fits and it is making me seek ways to let it out.

Maybe once I start leaking this novel there will be some poetry that will come to play with it.

-Michael

Celanith's picture

Heart Felt

Submitted by Celanith on Thu, 2006-09-07 20:28.

I was touched by your poem and if this is really you and your life, Don't give up, she is waiting. But maybe not in the places you thought she would be.

PrincessNut's picture

awwwwww

Submitted by PrincessNut on Thu, 2006-10-12 18:30.

i could really feel the emotion in your poem, how much you wanted to find her and the feeling of hopelessness when you give up....maybe you have a vision, well a voice that may lead you where you may want to be.

I hope you find her, if this poem is really your true life then i hope you do.