Here are six techniques to make sure no one will visit your website more than once:

1. Use BLACK for background and BLOOD RED, LIME GREEN, DAY-GLO ORANGE or ELECTRIC BLUE for text. To be really effective and repulse all your visitors, splash these colors randomly.

2. Use frames and tables, tables within tables, frames with frames, to make sure it would take forever to download your home page. The more the merrier. Make sure you never use Cascading Style Sheets (CSS) for your site design.

3. Use as many BLINKING, JUMPING and MOVING GIF files, flash files, and marquee text styles as possible. There should be so many "moving parts" on your page that a user should have no idea where to look at. My favorites are flags waving in an invisible breeze, cute pets jumping up and down next to the headers, and a busy mail box opening and closing its lid non-stop.

4. Force your visitors to share with you not only their names and last names but also their e-mail addresses, phone numbers, five previous home addresses, medical history, names of their family members, a copy of their fingerprints, tax ID number, etc. BEFORE they can have a peek at what you have. The more information you ask them to reveal up front, higher will be the probability that you'll never see them again.

5. Have a lot of broken links that lead to nowhere. Disappoint as many eyeballs as possible.

6. Use as many navigation bars as possible. Have a navigation bar on the left, right, top and bottom of every page, with both similar and different links in them that do not reveal any reason or rhyme. That way your visitors will easily be confused what to click on and why. And they will definitely click and move on to another web site. Hoorray!