We're Not Twins: Telling Mia & Irving Apart
We're Not Twins: Telling Mia & Irving Apart
A number of people (Idlewild, I’m looking at you) have expressed some confusion because Mia Northwest and I have avatars that are strikingly similar. (In this case, avatar refers to the little graphic symbol that accompanies our comments, is found on our profile pages, etc. If you would like to imagine that it refers to something else, go right ahead. In my case, at least. I can’t speak for Mia. Not since she filed those papers with the court.)
How this situation came about is anybody’s guess. The observant among you may have noticed that Mia has had hers for much longer than I have had mine, which may lead those so observant (also known as “those busybodies with nothing better to do with their lives”) to suppose that I copied or imitated or just plain stole Mia’s idea for my own. I maintain that I had mine first but that Mia used some sort of super-futuristic technology to time travel back into the past (I know what goes on in the Northwest, Mia – don’t look so innocent) and change her avatar after she saw how truly stunning my emerald green eye looks.
But that’s neither here nor there. You’re reading this (or in some cases having it read to you – how ya doin’, wHATUP?) because you want to know how to tell which one of us is commenting on one of your ‘bytes or ‘blurbs, thereby keeping it in play a little bit longer and increasing the chances someone will click on an ad and contribute $0.37 to your retirement fund.
I could point out the blazingly obvious differences in the avatars themselves, such as how the gorgeous shade of green in MY eye is clearly natural and NOT the result of phony contact lenses, or how MY eye is giving what must really be called a sultry “come hither” look that’s dang hard to resist, or how MY eye’s lashes are free of cheap, wantonly mascara, the likes of which haven’t been seen since Mae West left this mortal coil. But to do any of that might be insulting to Mia, who is one of my oldest and dearest and oldest friends, and whom I would never want to upset or offend, especially since she obtained that court order. Did I mention that as friends go, she’s one of my oldest?
Anyway, here are some easy ways to tell us apart.
1. Read our names. I can’t tell you how important this is, people. Now pay attention. This is what mine looks like:
irvingl2001
This is what Mia’s looks like:
Mia Northwest
I know it’s confusing because we both use this new thing called “letters” that come from something called an “alphabet,” and Mia’s has an “i” and mine has 2 of them, and Mia’s has an upper case “N” and mine has a lower case, and we both have an “r” – BUT NOTHING ELSE IS THE SAME. I even have numbers in mine, for God’s sake. (The numbers are those funny looking letters at the end of my name. Got it? I’m beginning to think that ‘byte on public school education may have had some validity after all.)
2. Read our words. Is it witty, well-phrased and involving? It’s Mia’s. Does it bring a smile to your lips, a tear to your eyes, a flutter to your heart? Mia’s. Can you sense a keen intellect, an inquiring mind and a soaring soul behind the words? Yes, yes, yes, it’s Mia again. (God, I really hate her! Perfect little Miss Goody Two-Shoes. No wonder she wants to be Mary La-Di-Da Poppins! I hope she suffers major umbrella failure when she’s flying over Beaverton’s imposing skyline.)
3. Look at the subjects we’re discussing. Unless it’s Muriel Spark, you can pretty much tell us apart by WHAT we’re discussing as much as HOW we’re discussing it. I’ll put some subjects side by side to make this clearer:
| MIA | IRVINGL2001 |
| The Pacific Northwest | Me |
| Miranda Cosgrove’s new video | Me |
| Recipes | Me |
| The Perfect Peach | The Perfect Me |
| School Uniforms | Dressing Like Me |
| I Want to Be Mary Poppins | Mary Poppins Could Learn a Lot from Me |
| Bi-Lingual Education | How to Say “Irving is Magnificent” in 12 Languages |
4. If reading a ‘byte or ‘blurb (as opposed to a comment – d’uh!), see how many points the entry has. If it’s a number greater than 0, chances are Mia is the author.
Well, I hope this helps clear things up. And Mia, now that I’ve posted this, can we talk about settling at least one of those lawsuits?
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All that stuff about who writes what is nice,
but I don't really care.
I just wanna know which one has the hot, unmarried sister! (if either).
Ummm..Thanks for clearing that up..
Mia is great..well, about 98% great..Who are you again??
Depends
Are you looking for the one who's Legionnaire's Disease-free?
Who am I?
Why do you ask? You haven't come across any of the latest FBI Most Wanted posters, have you? Because they doctor those photos so that they could look like almost ANYONE, you know!
No, I haven't seen one lately
I'm not allowed in the Post Office any more...
Look
Just because I found a creative way around that whole "your not allowed on the internet" thing the FCC imposed on me is no reason to get snippy - is not my fault Chase Bank can't take a joke.
And don't feel your the only one. Mia is trying to get "me" banned again. I mean just because a guy finds out your IP address and send you a couple thousand emails to which you don't respond and then he gets upset and finds out your address and takes the time out of his busy schedule to fly all the way to the West Coast and shows up on your doorstep for three straight months is no reason to consider him a stalker. If you want to talk stalking Mia lets talk about my first wife and what I did to her.....umm, I mean my friend's wife and what he did to her. I mean, I would never do any of those things. At least none that could hold up in court. Uh...I gotta go now.
So I woke up this morning and logged on to find that
that the usual suspects are at it again, ha ha. Irvingl2001, or irvingl or irv, whatever you're going by now, that was a painfully true xombyte, but don't you feel better getting it off your chest? You crack me up and I haven't even had my morning coffee yet...but I will find a way to get you back. P.S. Your eye is prettier than mine, the botox did wonders.
Peace,
Mia NW
Please visit my recent posts here
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I miss the old days
when you could just say you wanted a date who's "drug and disease free;" nowawdays you have to specify the diseases you don't want.
Yes please, no Legioinnaire's, no human papilloma virus, nor any kwashiorkor, beri-beri, or woolly-bully.
Man, why can't I get this many comments on MY bytes? Maybe I need to write a new post in which the Montauk Monster professes that he is an atheist... that oughta get some reaction!
Irving2001: Newer software is available. Abort, retry, fail?
irvingl2001, the software you are using appears to be out of date.
For an upgrader's fee of $99, Microsoft will install the new irving2009 software package complete with the GreenEye Service Pack 2.
If you fail to make this upgrade in 15 days, your system software will be uninstalled and replaced with Windows 95.
Please choose one: Upgrade now or Abort, retry, fail?
You either? They told me
You either?
They told me that only people that worked there are allowed to go postal.
I'm not good with choices
That's why the court appointed a "nurse" (with real World Wrestling Federation credentials!) to sort out all my pills.
What do you wear when you're stalking?
I mean, what does your friend where when HE is stalking?
I can never decide. Sneakers, of course,but what kind? And does the sneaker choice mean you HAVE to go casual (because the sneakers and suit thing is SO "I grew up watching MIAMI VICE")? And black is good, but it gets kind of boring, even if you accessorize with some solid platinum handcuffs or a crowbar painted not just red but scarlet.
Fashion design for stalkers is a growth industry just waiting to happen. Where oh where is the Giorgio Armani of the Obsessive Set?
None of those, huh?
In that case you better talk to Mia.
The Montauk Monster is NOT an atheist. He's a Satanist. I've seen his picture in the ENQUIRER, at a black mass sacrificing Bob Barker's dentures to the Evil One while dancing in a circle with Waylon Smithers, Sarah Jessica Parker and Kelsey Grammer.
I usually go by "O
I usually go by "O Tremendously Sexy One."
Although no matter how hard I try, I seem to be the only one that calls me that.
It wasn't Botox. It was a much, MUCH more involved process involving clay, shaved carrots, a diamond drill and a very daring tumble from the Empire State Building. But it worked - my eye is a BEAUT!
The rest of me, however....
Your Supposed to wear something?
I...I mean my friend told me he doesn't wear any clothes. Says he feels freer that way - lets the woman see him in all his glory. The dude is really sick! I mean you should really wait until the second date (or breaking and entering as Mia calls it) before showing up naked - I mean c'mon - heathen!
"In all his glory"
What if your gl- I mean, what if your FRIEND's glory isn't all that...glorious?
For example, I have a FRIEND whose "glory" tends to inspire snickers. Okay, laughter. Okay, fall-down-dead-drunk riotous guffawing, if you must know - which I think might be very distratcing to a successful stalking.
There you go, the EYES have it...
Or something like that. I just wanted to get in on the conversation, but screaming LOUD NOISES! seemed so cliche. Now, what would a third party needs to know about these cyclopes to make an informed decision about which one had the hotter sister?
DO YOU HAVE THE WRITE STUFF?
Third party?
As in "menage a trois?"
Well, first I'll have to see your eyes without the shades. If sufficiently green-hued, I'm willing. I can't speak for Mia, however. (That pesky court order again, you know.)
The more the merrier
My eyes are technically hazel, but hazel is like a mood ring. If I'm sufficiently angry, they turn green. Unfortunately, I'm rarely angry.
Maybe I'll just lurk and watch this thread. I haven't read a good cyclops story since Homer's Odyssey.
DO YOU HAVE THE WRITE STUFF?
I thought
I thought they were always laughing with him? You know an Ice Breaker of sorts. In any case, he tells me then he takes it "up a notch". He will leave "presents" on his soon-to-be girlfriend's doorway. A kinda of marking his territory as he calls it. Remember he is naked. He says that this usually gets him a bit more respect and speeds up the "process". It is usually not long after this that the cops somehow get involved. Probably the nosey neighbors that hate to see two people in love. Of course, in Mia's cases she came after him with scissors talkin' about making a "corrective procedure". That did not turn out well! "Things" are still coming out of places they shouldn't be, places where Mia stored them. I'd rather not talk about it.
Not that is is a plug or anything
But we got sidetracked into a sort-of ODYSSEY discussion in my previous post, "A lot of Answers, Not Much Time.
Hazel, huh? Sorry, I make it a point NEVER to discuss arrangements with anyone whose eye color has the same name as any Shirley Booth sitcoms. (It's a long story, involving a curious mix-up between a bottle of Dom Perignon and a bottle of peroxide. Don't go there, just please don't.)
Please don't mention Ice Breakers
Not after what happened in Cleveland. And don't pretend you weren't there.
According to FBI
I was never there! You know that. They say that there is a twin for everyone. And the DNA evidence only elimated 99.999% of everyone on earth. So remember as the judge said that left at least 5 other people it could've been and just because they all happened to be in Mexico didn't mean anything. As my lawyer clearly pointed out they could've hopped on any number of plane flights.
As you well know, hopping is
As you well know, hopping is not allowed on flights traveling between Mexico and Cleveland. Nor is skipping, samba-ing, walking with a fake limp or proposing marriage to a pine tree.
You were in Cleveland. Your pants may not have been, but YOU were.
You forgot that it was an Aero Mexico flight...
That one allows everything except toad licking, admiring Bea Arthur in a wedding dress, and writing picture postcards with your left hand unless you are able to tap your right foot, wink your left eye, and whistle La Marseillaise in C minor.
DO YOU HAVE THE WRITE STUFF?
I never could
I never could whistle in c-minor. And just because I have the largest Bea Arthur porn in the eastern US doesn't mean anything Aero. Sorry, what where we talking about?
All of which I an do, I am
All of which I can do, I am proud to say.
Admiring Bea Arthur in a wedding dress is one thing. Admiring her OUT of the wedding dress is quite another.
Does it include....
This Bea Arthur porn...does it include any shots of Adrienne Barbeau?
If not, does it include anyone taking shots AT Adrienne Barbeau?
As a last result, does it include anyone drinking shots while looking at Adrienne Barbeau?
Sex, lies and videotape
Pants are for the conformist rabble. Be free or Die! That's my motto. Just because the "videotape" you had suddenly went blank in the courtroom isn't my vault. I mean who knows what was on that tape? right? There were no copies you told me.
Twins, but one black and one white!
nice article .....Read my article about twins
http://www.xomba.com/twins_but_one_black_and_one_white